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Author Topic: what to do now?  (Read 1002 times)


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what to do now?
« on: Jan 12, 2006, 12:46:21 AM »
hi there old friends!  sorry i haven't hung around much.

i have a question.  my xh's parenting time has been slowly increasing, from heavily court-supervised 4 years ago, to this past xmas, when i allowed the kids to go 3 hours away with him to his parents' home for 3 days and 2 nights.

THEN just today, i find out he has 3 open warrants out for his arrest.  the warrant extends out of state to the 3 adjoining states, meaning it's more serious than a regular warrant and if he's across a single state line, he will be picked up if they know where he is.  anyway, one of them is a sex abuse offense.  now i know as well as anyone that sex abuse doesn't have to be with a minor.  it could be a disgruntled woman at a bar that didn't like it when he bumped into her.  another of the warrants is a felony drug charge and i don't know any details on the 3rd one.

BUT.  dammit, this makes me so mad!  if he'd been picked up for the warrants while the kids were there, there's a possibility the kids would have been put into state custody and i would have been investigated for having allowed the children to go with him!  granted, that is a worst-case scenario, but i've been a mandatory reporter all my adult life and i know it's not all that far-fetched when there are caseworkers out there with an ax to grind and a quota to fill.

so...what would you do?  curtail the time with dad?  make him go back to supervised?  report him?  keep it as my ace in the hole against him?

he doesn't work, doesn't provide child support...etc...and i know these things don't have bearing on parenting time but all i have wanted, EVER wanted, is for the kids to be SAFE when they are with him.  old-timers here will know and remember that.  what the hell do i do know?

what would you do?

edited for spelling...and my apologies for the lack of caps, i've gotten lazy in my old age, LOL.


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Protect the children and yourself
« Reply #1 on: Jan 12, 2006, 06:00:45 AM »
I would explain to him that, based on the 3 warrants, you have no other choice but to terminate unsupervised visits.
I don't know how well you trust his parents, if they can be trusted, then they could be supervisors.
Him getting arrested on 3 warrants, and you not knowing about them is one thing, but since you know the warrants are out there, you are putting yourself at risk when you let the kids with him unsupervised.



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