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Author Topic: What are the father's rights for checking his children out of school?  (Read 2547 times)


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RE: Exactly, Ref.................
« Reply #10 on: Dec 21, 2006, 08:16:45 AM »
>That's the one thing that bugs me............giving the CP
>WAY too much power.  Stepmom, your DH's atty. gave you some
>'bad' advice when he said to write to the BM and basically
>'ask her permission'.  The ONLY person you have to ask
>permission regarding these issues is the JUDGE!
>I agree 100% with Ref........take a copy of the CO, FERPA, and
>any other documentation that will support your position and go
>directly to the school.  Go up the ladder if you have to,
>which includes the school's atty. as well.  Remind them EVERY
>TIME you talk to someone new that they got extremely lucky in
>this situation, in that your child did not stop breathing and
>go into arrest.  Make sure it sinks in well that they dodged a
>HUGE law suit bullet.  And I wouldn't be too sure if it isn't
>illegal to have a minor on the pick-up list....I'd check into
>that, too.
>They're yanking your chain, including your atty.  You do NOT
>have to ask BM's permission for SQUAT!  Ever!  If you have a
>joint legal custody agreement, you have as much say in every
>issue as she does, period.  When you carry yourself and speak
>for yourself in that manner, they will soon take you
>seriously.  It took me a long time (4-5 years) to convince DH
>that he had as much say in what happened in the life of his
>child as the mother did.......he now actually believes it in
>his heart, and you know what?  With that confidence, BM now
>asks HIM for advice and permission regarding actions with SS!
>And she's still CP!

Um, you really need to look up the definition of joint legal.  While I do agree that the ncp should be called and have not have the problems that this ncp is having, NEITHER parent can unilaterally make major decisions on their own.  It's called JOINT legal, not SOLE legal.  And, no, the ncp doesn't have a say in every issue.  The parent with primary physical custody has the most say in the day to day life of the children.  And it is the parent with primary physical custody, according to my lawyer, that the courts usually side with should it get to that point.  Hopefully, they can learn to work together.

Although, after reading these boards, I am very glad that ex and I get along when it comes to the kids.  

BTW, any correspondence the other parent regarding the children should be done by either the lawyer or the other parent.  Stepparents really should stay out of it as they have no say and can sometimes make the situation worse.  

Kitty C.

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RE: Exactly, Ref.................
« Reply #11 on: Dec 21, 2006, 04:27:39 PM »
Joint legal ALSO means that either parent CAN make a unilateral decision in a life-or-death emergency, which this certainly was.  I had joint legal with DS's dad and he had all those rights.  DH has joint legal of SS and he has those rights as well.  I still think the school is running their own agenda on this, requiring everything to go thru the CP only.  That's where the powere struggle rises and the BM knows this and takes full advantage of it.

In the case of my SS, BM is first on the call list.  When he got ill enough that he had to be picked up quickly (but not an emergency to the point of calling 911), the school could not reach BM.  They also tried calling the SF, since they knew he worked at the same plant or would know how to get a hold of her, but no luck.  Then they tried DH, but he was out of cell tower range, so they called me, hoping I could get in touch with DH, which I did.  They followed protocol to a T in regards to the situation and if it had warranted an emerg. trip to the hospital, they would have called 911, got him in an ambulance and let either parent know by whatever means available to meet their child at the designated hospital.

Joint legal in regards to school means BOTH parents should be on the pick-up list if they both live in the area and BOTH should be contacted.  If it's an emergency, the parent reached first is the parent who takes the child and informs the other parent as soon as possible.  
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......


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