You are all right in certain way. We are not pursuing DNA (at least not by now). WE are trying to rebuild the bond between my
SD and my hub. I already showed her her birth certificate, but she just overlooked it and put it aside. But the idea to put it in a frame...that I'll do. Unbeleivable her relation with me has improved 100%, she kisses me, she hugges me; including the other day she was very upset, because
BM organized a sleep over in my hub's week-end and my husband refused to it. She asked my hub if she could talk to me. She began to cry... I told her that she has to understand that her father has done a lot of sacrifices to come to see her and a lot of things (never talked Sh... about mom), but her BM was in the other phone and I could hear when she hung up and then I overheard her telling the kid what to say. She told me the most horrible things a kid could say. She told me that she was been forced to visitation because her mom was going to get in trouble with court; that she hates us; that her life was perfect until we re-appear in her life and so on.
Well the thing is that she came for visitation and she noticed that I was kind of "upset" (I was just not feeling well that day, I understand what she's going through taht's why I don't get upset), and came to me and whispered in my ear "I'm sorry" and gave me a kiss. I kissed her back and I told her "I love you". It wasn't until she left that I realized that she was talking about the sleep-over day that she yelled at me.
This is happening probably because BM hasn't attacked me too much...I think. But with her dad in totaly the contrary. She doesn't want him to touch her, she doesn't call him DAD, doesn't use her last name, but SF's, she doesn't want to spend more time that the stipulated by court (as she has told us before).
And beleive me or not, that is killing me too.
BM has told me that I haven't have kids because God was "giving me my part". I told her that she was wrong because God has given me her daughter... That pissed her of. To tell toy the truth, I was crying last night and asked God why He has given her three kids and He hasn't given me any ... I asked Him to forgive me ... but still hurts, because I have loved her daughter as mine, but I have to realize that she has her mom, good or not, but she is her mom.
God Bless you all