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Author Topic: What Next!  (Read 2873 times)

Fueledbyjava

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What Next!
« on: Jun 09, 2008, 06:10:49 AM »
So I caught my STBX with her BF again. Then STBX got laid off from her job for causing problems at work (directly related to her adultrous conduct) then I found a Rx for a STD in her possesion. How does all this play out in front of a judge? Remember this is  the third time I have caught her cheating. I only care about my child, I'll sell the house, etc.. Opinions please.


MixedBag

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RE: What Next!
« Reply #1 on: Jun 09, 2008, 08:55:52 AM »
How does it NEGATIVELY affect the kids?

That's what you gotta focus on.

Bring in an expert witness to show that her behavior is affecting the child in a negative way.

Kitty C.

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RE: What Next!
« Reply #2 on: Jun 09, 2008, 09:02:46 AM »
If she's truely a 'soon-to-be' ex and you are physically separated, then you have no say-so in what she does in her private life, who she sees, and when.  As for the other issues, unless it negatively affects the child, the judge won't give a d*mn.  Stinks, but it's the reality of the situation.
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......

Fueledbyjava

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RE: What Next!
« Reply #3 on: Jun 09, 2008, 11:21:58 AM »
We still live in the same house as does our daughter.

Kitty C.

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RE: What Next!
« Reply #4 on: Jun 09, 2008, 12:29:52 PM »
Then I'd say it would be a toss-up with the judge.  If you've already filed for divorce, it's possible to assume that each party has a right to see whom they want.  Like I and the other poster said tho, it still really won't make a difference unless it is detrimentally affecting your daughter.  And that you would have to 'prove', probably by 3rd party observation, like a therapist or counselor.  AND they would have to testify in court about their findings, which would make them an expert witness and there would be an additional cost to that as well.

Not trying to dissuade you, just laying it all out there so you aren't blindsided.
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......


Fueledbyjava

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RE: What Next!
« Reply #5 on: Jun 10, 2008, 06:01:32 AM »
Yesterday evening I went to pick her up from daycare and gues what, no child! Her mother had picked her up two hours earlier and didn't even call or at the very least text me to let me know. Then I get home- no one's there. She finally texted me back three hours later that herself and my daughter would be staying at a friends house for the third time in four nights! This is so sick. She knows that all I care about is my daughter and now she is trying to alienate her from me by keeping her form me after work. As far as I know she has no right to do this. I don't even know where her friend lives, what kind of people live around her or the living conditions that are kept in her house. I am extremely uncomfortable with my daughter being put in this unstable situation, in a time like this she needs routine and some sort of stability, at least she should be able to know where she is going to be sleeping at night. Her mother can stay wherever she wants, but my daughter needs a stable environment. What legal recourse, if any do I have in this situation?

MixedBag

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RE: What Next!
« Reply #6 on: Jun 10, 2008, 10:12:17 AM »
IMHO -- NONE until you get into court and get temp primary custody.

Fueledbyjava

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RE: What Next!
« Reply #7 on: Jun 11, 2008, 12:12:36 PM »
Do you have to go through a hearing for that?

Davy

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RE: What Next!
« Reply #8 on: Jun 11, 2008, 05:20:04 PM »
Yes ... a hearing will be necessary to obtain temporary custody and it is important because, in practice, temporary OFTEN becomes permanent.

In a previous post you mentioned that the mother and daughter would be staying at a friends house for the third time in four nights!

IMHO you should seriously consider informing 'her' that she  DOES NOT do whatever she wants concerning your daughter.  Draw the line now and do not try to reason with 'her'.  Find comfort in knowing that many fathers have found themselves (and proved) they are far better equipped to raise both the daughters and sons.  It is your responsibility to protect your daughter.  The child does not exist to promote the mother's self-serving ego.  

Probably enough said ... but it seems beneficial if you can encourage the voluntary removal of her sorry $ss from your and your daughter's presence.  

Fueledbyjava

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RE: What Next!
« Reply #9 on: Jun 12, 2008, 11:32:52 AM »
I have informed her of my not consenting to my daughter being at her friends house that often, she wont even give me an address. My atty. knows and has documentation not only of me asking for an address and telling her not to keep my daughter there but also her saying that in a nutshell she'll do what she wants and maybe I'll get to see my daughter. BTW, I got her back last night. I also have in writing from her e-mail that she intends to move from the state if she cannot find work, which will hopefully help me. My lawyer is drawing up the paperwork and I guess a hearing will follow shortly, we'll see what happens. Again, all I care about is my childs well being.

 

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