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Author Topic: How could the court do this? Change custody to me without asking me first?  (Read 2911 times)


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This is the first time I have tried posting anything on a message board but I am not sure where else to turn, I have several ongoing issues but I am going to focus on the main one. I had a very bad attny(flat fee ) represent me in Blue Earth County , MN in a divorce with kids involved I have one daughter and one adopted son(he was hers from a prior guy) Here's the shortest way to explain this .When she left me she took the kids...within a month she had kicked the boy out , I'll call him P and P moved back in with me, at the time I thought he had asked to move back..didn't know she was making him. Anyway he lived with me for 18 months with Very limited contact with his mom(her choice not his).
I eventually moved to Wa to pursue a relationship with my now fiance. He willingly and with full permission moved with me. Then after school was out he wanted to go visit his grandparents in MN for a few weeks..ok great, once there he called and asked if he could go see his mom, of course I said, well within two days she was calling me to tell me that he wanted to live there with her from now on. Again I said ok, I thought here was a great chance for them to work out their issues(he felt abondoned by her when she left and was depressed and cutting)He is 15 almost 16 so I feel his opinion on where he wants to live should be taken into consideration.
 All was well until the last court date where we were to finally after more than a year finalize this mess. I informed my crappy attny well before the hearing that I wouldn't be able to financially make it ( I would actually have lost my job) The judge had previously said I could appear by phone because of an earlier hearing that I flew back for and she didn't show up at. Nothing was said or done beccause she wasn't there.
 Ok so I am waiting for a call telling me what happened, nothing before court from my attny, nothing during court from anyone, nothing after court..nothing the next bussiness day??? Finally I get through to my attny and ask him whats going on were you going to call me? what happened? He actually hung up on me after telling me no he didn't plan to call me. So I called the court, and had the court reporter read me what the result was, my ex went into court and told the judge that we had discussed this and were in agreement that P would move back here to live with me right away ect. Nobody ever dicussed this with me, due to some things that have come to light over the last few months no he can't just move back here without duing some work there first, like counseling with his mom for starts so I don't have to deal with his abondnment isssues which would now be worse!!
Then I talk to my son and find out that no, he doesn't want to move back here he thinks all is well with him and mom and knew nothing about her trying to legally kick him out. So she calls non stop saying to buy him a ticket now he has to get out etc..I suggest counseling for them she says hell no and more...finally after taking the extreme measure of talking to P at school, working through his counselor there, filling them all in. He says he will not move back he will run away if we make him, doesn't want to leave MN and his friends again, plus the big bonus of mom has no rules and we do out here. So his mom finally says in a text that she is keeping him and that I am and abusing deadbeat father etc.... so all is well until she gets mad at him again and starts with the buy him a ticket thing again.
How do I handle this? What kind of legal throuble can I get into if he stays in Mn with her instead of moving out here? By the way I did call the court and have them enter into the record that I was not in agreement with what wa sdecided as far as custody and did fire my attny the same day he hung up on me.
Sorry this was so long that was the sortest version I could do! Any advice would be helpful.


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That poor boy!!!  He is crying out for help with that cutting!   Is there any chance that you and fiance can move near the mom for awhile?  Is there anyway you can try to make a deal with the boy that if he stay with you one year and attend counseling for the cutting and abandonment issues that you will do something special for him, like a car?  I hate resorting to bribes but he needs some kind of help!  I am so desperate for more time with my son, I can't imagine a mom trying to get rid of her son that needs her!  She is dispicable and shouldn't be around a psycho like that anyway!  I know he is not your biological son, but if you can put him first and foremost in your life, you will probably save him from a lot of painful self destruction.  Good luck


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