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Author Topic: We are not custodial so we have no rights?  (Read 3979 times)

stepmomtwo1

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We are not custodial so we have no rights?
« on: Nov 22, 2003, 07:58:17 AM »
We found out this morning from a friend who has a police scanner that sd was reported missing this morning. I guess (dh is bringing home the police report after work) she left home last night at 11:20 at night and her mom called the police this morning at 6:30 to say she never came home at all.

I am so fed up with paying for this darn kid and her mom just lets her run wild. First of all she just turned 16 so why is she even going out at 11:20 at night?

She pulled her out of school to home school her and we get no say in that and now the kid is out all hours of the night and we have no say in that. I called the county prosecutors office and the lady was really nice and told me to call the county legal aid for help with an attorney and the woman actually told me that since we are not legal guardians that we can’t do a thing.

Yeah the ex has no problems having someone help her get more money from us and then she doesn’t give the kid two seconds of the time that she deserves and we are not allowed to say a word. I guess were here just to pay money to this woman and keep our mouths shut.

When the kid ends up dead we will be the first ones they call though to lay the blame on. I’s all our fault that she is the way she is even though we were the only ones who made her mind and we hadn’t seen her since she was 9 because we were too mean to come and visit.

Are there ANY fathers rights groups out there at all? How can this whole process be so one sided? All the ex would have to do is whimper and there would be 5 agencies fighting to help her rake us over the coals.

I guess all our state thinks we are good for is paying her mother every week.




Indigo Mom

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RE: She's missing???????
« Reply #1 on: Nov 22, 2003, 09:32:16 AM »
And the broad hasn't even called her father?  WTF is up with that?

Regarding legal aid, I have 4 "denial" letters from them.  They all say that even though I qualified at the time for their services, they don't have the lawyers to handle my "type" of situation.  Legal aid bites.

Your husband has to hold his head up and pray to whatever God he believes in that this child makes it to adulthood.  How sickening that this woman is behaving this way.  Nice example for the child, I say.

And yes, you do have rights.  People will let you "think" you don't, but you do.  You have to enforce them yourself...cause ain't no one in that courthouse gonna help an NCP......

Try to have a good day.........

Peanutsdad

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RE: We are not custodial so we have no rights?
« Reply #2 on: Nov 22, 2003, 03:29:50 PM »
Please update us on the search for your DH's daughter...

In the meantime, yes your DH does have rights, assuming he has not had his parental rights severed.

Many pro se litigants have successfully argued and filed the tyoes of actions your DH SHOULD have been filing for the last 7 years. ie; contempt motions of visitation.

Since you learned of this thru a police scanner, that tells me you are geographically close to where the daughter lives. Tell us the state and what his court orders state, perhaps we can help you.

Actually, if harm comes to this child, I really dont see how any blame can be laid at your doorstep, afterall, you guys havent seen her since the age of nine? Why not? Is there a court order preventing visitation?

charm910

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RE: We are not custodial so we have no rights?
« Reply #3 on: Nov 23, 2003, 01:28:52 PM »
If your stepdaughter is still missing at this time, go to http://www.missingkids.com immediately!

There you can see you rights as a non-custodial parent and what you need to do. There is also links for each state and the local laws.
Don't let anyone tell you that you have no rights, this isn't true!

Best of luck to your and your husband

stepmomtwo1

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RE: We are not custodial so we have no rights?
« Reply #4 on: Nov 23, 2003, 06:04:05 PM »
My step daughter came home later Friday morning on her own. The officer who as in charge was suppossed to call us Friday night when he started his shift and we have heard nothing.

What a headache! Her mother is about useless as a parent ! I'm so sick of this whole situation where I as the step mom who dares to challenge a child and make them mind and the only person who ever tried to make her mind and I am the bad person. I say at least I cared enough to attempt to make her mind.

I would never step parent again. If I had only known then what I know now.;(


stepmomtwo1

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RE: We are not custodial so we have no rights?
« Reply #5 on: Nov 23, 2003, 06:21:36 PM »
We have never had any parental rights severed legally only by the ex wife.

He knows he should have just made the child come with him years ago when it started but she told her mom she didn't want to come and my husband didn't want her to hate him and make her come.

Actually we thought that if we didn't kiss her butt and give into her every demand (she was so spoiled and demanding to everyone) that she would just want to come back on her own but then my mother in law decided that she would do our weekend and she took the child to trips out of town ,out to dinner ,shopping etc . so why would she want to come back with us when she was being treated like a queen and at our house she was just another member of the family ,no better no worse.

The ex and daughter live about three miles from our house. If the crops are down we can almost see it from our front lawn.

We live in Ohio and his court orders state that he gets weekend visitations every other week, three weeks in the summer (which she never allowed more then one) and every other holiday ( is that what you meant?)

There is no court order preventing visitation she just decided not to come and her mom said it was that much easier for her since I am so mean to this child. She didn't want to have any rules and here there are plenty. For our kids safety and our sanity they have to have rules.

Last year she contacted me though a message board that I visit and was truly hostile to me calling me nasty names and writing how I was ignoring her like I always did  and such and even then she blamed my husband and I for not loving her and being mean to her. It's all our fault that she has to go to therapy... see what I mean about everything being our fault? She wrote the first message board posting saying she was a friend of hers and that she was concerned about her because she had tired to kill herself. This kid is really disturbed and I can't imagine it will get any better while she is living with her mother who is also equally disturbed. We don't know if she has really tired to kill herself or not but it was all because her dad doesn't love her any more. In the end we always get the blame. :(

alamero

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RE: She's missing???????
« Reply #6 on: Nov 24, 2003, 05:54:05 PM »
"You have to enforce them yourself...cause ain't no one in that courthouse gonna help an NCP......"

Amen to that...

 

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