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Author Topic: How could this be?  (Read 2573 times)


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How could this be?
« on: Dec 30, 2003, 09:34:23 AM »
Married couple gets divorced.

Joint custody of 2 children
(father gets children a couple nights a week)
Mother lives in dirty apartment
children sleep in dirty cribs / in bed / in same room as mother (and astranged male friends)
Pictures of filth and condition of apartment have been filed with DSS

father trying to get full custody of children

While in mother's care:
children have lice 7 times in 3 months
children are left with relative who has dog
dog bites face of youngest - hospital visit with stitches
mother doesn't fill prescription for antibiotics for 4 days
children are STILL allowed to be in company of dog!

father still trying to get full custody

While in mother's care:
children are left alone with under-age babysitters (obviously not in school during the day)
DSS says "We've seen worse, it's not bad enough yet"

father trying to get custody, still

While in mother's care:
children allowed to leave mother's home with wet hair / no shoes - in the middle of winter = 20 degree weather

father still trying to get custody (Father lives in a clean nice area, children have their own room, and a SCHEDULE, a loving environment and family, and will stay at a certified daycare)

Courts hear DSS case, and father's plea - custody STILL awarded to mother

children don't want to go to mommy's house when it's time to "go home"

In mother's care:
youngest has cigarettes taken away by eldest
youngest has a knife taken away by eldest
youngest falls off couch - BREAKS ARM

father is STILL trying to gain custody..........


Kitty C.

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« Reply #1 on: Dec 30, 2003, 10:22:22 AM »
Who's been making the reports to DSS?  Because if it's coming from you, they will NEVER take it seriously.  If it comes from a mandatory reporter (doctor, police officer, etc,.......if you get my drift), they will follow thru much more closely, since another agency is involved.

If you have ANY concerns at a specific time, call the sheriff's dept. and ask for a welfare check to be done on the children.  They will go to the residence, check on the kids and see how they are doing (and REMOVE them if the situation warrants it), then get back to you on the disposition. They will NOT tell any adult at that residence who is requesting the welfare check.

If, at any time while the children are with you, their health and wellbeing are at stake (neglected condition, etc.), take them to an ER of a hospital with solid pediatric and social services depts.  They would be more likely to report.  Understand that ANY professional who has reason to be involved with a child (including clergy) are mandatory reporters and MUST report any 'suspicion' of abuse, under penalty of law.

And if all else fails, contact the hardest hitting local news station that does investigative reporting and tell them your story.  I hope you have this WELL documented, copies of ALL reports (including medical), and have LOTS of pictures.  The philosophy here is the squeaky wheel gets the grease.  It is frustrating as hell to get these people to do their jobs the RIGHT way, but you have to stay on it.  Don't give up, cuz those precious babies' lives are depending on you..............  
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......


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RE: Question............
« Reply #2 on: Dec 30, 2003, 12:31:49 PM »
Reports have been filed with local police - on new injuries to the children that the father sees when they arrive at his house.

An out-of-jurisdiction court actually issued a court-ordered restraining order against the mother on behalf of the children, but the jurisdiction that is handling the divorce and custody issues has since reversed it - after hearing DSS's "it's not bad enough" case.  When the out-of-jurisdiction judge who issued the restraining order heard of this (because they had to show in court to get it removed) the judge just could NOT believe it - actually TOLD the father that there is NO WAY those children should be with their mother.

The judge who awarded the mother with custody at the very beginning has been actually petitioned in the community to be removed from the bench for delivering biased judgements AGAINST fathers of divorcing couples -  no matter what he said, the mother was going to get custody in this case - even with pictures of trash bags in cribs and horrifying facts that were clearly documented in DSS files AND police reports.

Now, with the broken arm, DSS has agreed to talk to the father, but NEXT WEEK - these kids are petrified of being at their mother's house!  AND, with a broken arm, who's to say the yougest will receive the care they need???

How do you battle DSS who says they are trying to 'work' with the mother to be a better parent, when THIS happens!?  These are not test subjects! They're children!... who could be in a better home - supervised - and well taken care of by their father - who is extremely frustrated with the way DSS has treated him.  It's like DSS has categorized him as a father who just doesn't want to pay child support.  DSS says he's over-reacting.  How is the system working in this scenario?  THIS is what I, as a tax-payer, am supporting????

He's actually offered to continue payments!....so long as HE gets the children!


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RE: Question............
« Reply #3 on: Jan 01, 2004, 12:41:30 PM »
What does his lawyer say? He needs a lawyer who is a Board Certified Family Law & Custody Specialist.  

How old are the children?

Here is something that helped us. First see if you can get DSS to appoint an abuse advocate for the children. Then subpoena her to the next hearing.

Also talk to mutual friends & his ex's friends. Keep an ear on the neighborhood & find out who she is arguing with. Former friends make great witnesses about abuse, My son even got one of her former lovers to testify about how she abused the kids.

Good luck & God bless


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