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Author Topic: NCP's ability to sign up children for sports  (Read 2026 times)

wildfire563

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NCP's ability to sign up children for sports
« on: Apr 23, 2004, 12:52:22 PM »
Hi,

This is my first post.  I am currently in the process of getting divorced.  We've been separated for 3 years, it's been almost 2 years since she ex-parte attacked me and I've been reeling ever since under her constant attacks and absolute refusal to agree on anything.  She thinks that because she has physical custody (because my stupid first lawyer advised me to give it to her and GAL could rectify it later, hah!), that what she wants is a court order.  She refuses to set up a complete childsharing arrangement, and makes it up as she goes along.

Anyway, my 2 boys are 5 and 6 and I fortunately have a decent child-sharing arrangement (sort of), I pick them up at school on Thursdays and return them to school on alternating Fridays and Mondays (there is unfortunately no agreement on what to do when kids are not in school, or for vacations or holidays, but not because I haven't tried).  I live with my fiance and her children 15 minutes from my S2bX in the next town over.    I am a Stay at home dad, my fiance owns a small business and I take care of the kids and family stuff (and pay CS).  My S2bx works full time and puts the kids in day care to keep them from me, even though I have said I will watch the boys on her days and she can get them on the way home.  But that's another story

My S2bx and I are not talking.  She won't discuss anything unless I sign the house over to her so she can refinance it and then agree on how to settle the house later (yeah, right, like I would trust her) (She lives in the marital home)(stupid me for trusting her when I left).  

This is the meat of my question.  I want my children to be involved in sports.  I have signed them up for baseball this spring and hockey in the fall, and written to her saying that I have done this, asked if she agrees, and said she can be involved if she wants or not. I have the children on the days of their games so it's no big deal if she's not supportive.

My question is this: Can she do anything to stop me from signing them up for sports in my home town?  She has physical custody and we share legal custody.  Is there anything I can do to protect myself from injunctions on her part?

I have no idea what child-sharing will be like post-divorce.  She wants me to have the minimum contact as possible.  I want half-time minimum.

Thanks,

Thomas


Kitty C.

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RE: NCP's ability to sign up children for sports
« Reply #1 on: Apr 23, 2004, 01:01:55 PM »
If what you've signed them up for lands specifically on the days you have them, then she doesn't have a pot to piss in.  What you do with the boys on YOUR time is none of her business.

BUT, if she starts to screw with your visitation, like denying just to be spiteful, she could keep you from taking them to their games.  What kind of temp. legal agreement do you have in place so far?
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hisliltulip

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RE: NCP's ability to sign up children for sports
« Reply #2 on: Apr 23, 2004, 01:05:40 PM »
If you have joint legal AND the practice and game schedules don't land on her days, I don't see where the problem would be.  

It wouldn't DO anything to "her" interests.

If she has to haul them to practice or games on her days though, or you're signing them up and asking for half the money, expect a fight.

I'm signing up DS and SS for soccer this summer.  I wanted to stick them in t-ball, but I know better than to expect BM to get SS there at exactly 9:00am every other Monday after her weekend visitation.

So, soccer T and TH nights.  Won't interfere with EXH and won't interfere with SS BM.

Isn't this schedule juggling trying to keep everyone happy grand?

I can't wait until the boys get into "real" sports when they're older.  It's going to get really, really interesting then!

Kitty C.

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RE: NCP's ability to sign up children for sports
« Reply #3 on: Apr 23, 2004, 01:11:33 PM »
At least that's when they can tell their parents what the want to do as far as extra-curricular activities.  Makes a BIG difference if it's school-sanctioned.
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......

wildfire563

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RE: NCP's ability to sign up children for sports
« Reply #4 on: Apr 23, 2004, 01:40:00 PM »
Well, unfortunately, t-ball practice (games are on my time, but they are so young I think this is ok) is on her time, but two hours after she picks up after work, and the field is closer to her home than her hometown fields are.  But, I am expecting a fight.  I imagine that she is not going to want me to be able to do anything with the kids, as that has been her mo so far.

What I'm expecting is they'll do some sports with me and some with her.  I'm willing to support them on the ones she chooses.  It is only the next town over.  More people and money so better programs here, though, overall.  We'll see.

My main fear is her going to court and getting a judgement saying I can't sign them up since I'm not custodial parent.

Thanks,

Thomas



Kitty C.

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RE: NCP's ability to sign up children for sports
« Reply #5 on: Apr 23, 2004, 01:48:21 PM »
Question is, what is she going to tell the boys when they ask why she won't let them play?  Because they will be sorely disappointed.  If she does sign them up (one up you) in her area instead, be bigger than her and very willingly take them to all practices and games.  Also make damn sure you go to all or as many of the games as possible, regardless of whether they're on you visitation time or not.  It's a public place and she canNOT prohibit you from being there and watching.  But it WILL chap her hide!
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......

mango

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RE: NCP's ability to sign up children for sports
« Reply #6 on: Apr 27, 2004, 07:34:00 AM »
If it's not onher parenting time why should it matter. Unless she is afraid they will get hurt, i can't  see any reason for her to object to this.

You are being awlfully nice to work it into your own time.

 

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