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Author Topic: father fighting for custody  (Read 14509 times)

ocean

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Re: father fighting for custody
« Reply #20 on: Sep 27, 2009, 05:51:44 PM »
Why cant she drive to the meeting point? I would stick to the order. If you do it now then she can go back at anytime and say "we have been doing this for XX amount of time already" Unless there is a major reason why she cant get there (job change? no car?)  If you do it, write a formal letter stating you will do the transportation until the reason she cant is changed.


4honor

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Re: father fighting for custody
« Reply #21 on: Oct 06, 2009, 03:03:40 PM »
Modifying the court order verbally is essentially re-negotiating the order and makes the order less valuable as written. I was advised by one attorney NEVER to do it, and by nother attorney to only do it if it benefits the child.
 
My personal opinion is that since she moved and has a habit of moving, you should NOT give in on the drive, as she will move again some time in the future (pattern) and you will again be expected to give in and take up HER slack. Leave it the same. She needs a change in the circumstances of the CHILD or the other parent (you) or you to refuse to follow the order to go back to court. Call her bluff. A judge isn't going to slap you for following their own order and maintaning stability.
 
Don't give away pieces of an order that is not ambiguous... unlees the order mentions halfway and then says which place (which now might be ambiguous or unclear because that place is no longer half way.)
 
 
Stand your ground as a whole and give in when you feel like it.
A true soldier fights, not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves whats behind him...dear parents, please remember not to continue to fight because you hate your ex, but because you love your children.

gemini3

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Re: father fighting for custody
« Reply #22 on: Oct 06, 2009, 03:33:30 PM »
Yes, if she keeps going back to court for frivolous things they will see her as a nuisance.  Also, the judge is probably going to say that she is resonsible for the additional transportation since she moved.  If she does file, ask for attorney fees.
 
It sounds like being a decent guy is important to you - and that's awesome.  Your son is a lucky guy.  BUT - I don't think that it's unreasonable to expect her to bear the burden of her own decisions.  She chose to move knowing that it would create a longer commute.  I don't think it was fair for her to do that and then expect you to be the one to carry the burden.  Life doesn't work that way.  The longer you let her temper tantrums pressure you into giving her what she wants the longer you're going to have to deal with them.
 
When you say "no" she'll probably do what all tantrum-throwers do when her usual MO doesn't work - scream louder.  But, eventually it will stop.  Just practice "low contact" until she gets over her temper tantrum.
 
 

 

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