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Author Topic: Out of State Visitation questions-help  (Read 19324 times)

Yomont

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Out of State Visitation questions-help
« on: Jun 19, 2009, 03:17:32 AM »
I am a father currently living in Las Vegas and my 11 year old daughter lives in Colorado Springs CO. I only get to see her about 3 weeks a year, which is definitely not enough time. Her mother and I are divorced and have a child support agreement of $700.00 a month already in place to which I have been paying for about 5 years without missing a penny.

My question is I have been thinking of filing for visitation but am not sure what to do.
   Do I file here or in CO?
   If I want to file to have her all summer school break and every other holiday, is that possible?
   What are the chances that I get what I want?
   Maybe some insight as to how the process works would also be helpful.
   


*iLUVmySD*

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Re: Out of State Visitation questions-help
« Reply #1 on: Jun 19, 2009, 09:17:59 AM »
Is there a custody/visitation order in place already?  If so, you would file to modify visitation in the same court that issued that order.
If your ex is agreeable to letting you have more time then that would definitely make it easier.

Yomont

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Re: Out of State Visitation questions-help
« Reply #2 on: Jun 19, 2009, 01:31:52 PM »
There is or never was a custody/visitation order in place as we tried to do it on our own.

ksmarks

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Re: Out of State Visitation questions-help
« Reply #3 on: Jun 19, 2009, 01:37:04 PM »
Would she be agreeable to changing the terms of your previous agreement?  I preferred working thinigs out with my ex, rather than involve attorney's and Law Guardian's.
 
 
Is the support ordered?
 
 
KSMarks

Yomont

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Re: Out of State Visitation questions-help
« Reply #4 on: Jun 20, 2009, 04:33:28 AM »
Support is ordered @ $700 monthly which I have paid every penny of for the last 5 years.

Here in lies the problem. We talk and always seem to agree on the time frame of when she can come out and for ow long. Then when it gets close something always seems to come up and she states I can't have my daughter come out for 6 weeks but 2 weeks instead. I have always played nice but this is too unfair. Every time it's something. To the point I did not see my daughter for 2 years up until the 28th of may and she went home this past Thurs. 3 weeks in 2 years is ridiculous.

I spoke to the ex and told her next summer I want my daughter for the whole summer. To which she says "You can't call me just like that and tell me that you want her for the whole summer". I said I am giving you a year and I am not calling just like that You have a year.

So I know at the last minute something will arise and I will only get my daughter for the minimal at best.

I need visitation to be court ordered.


MixedBag

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Re: Out of State Visitation questions-help
« Reply #5 on: Jun 20, 2009, 06:42:09 AM »
Does your order say "reasonable" parenting time?
 
If it doesn't even say that....file a "Motion for Clarificaton" and tell the court that the lack of outlined parenting time causes conflict every single time you ask to have the child spend time with you.
 
Who moved away from the area where the two of you were to have the child?
 
Lots of things can happen in court -- to where you may even get ordered to spend all of the time with your child in your child's area (worst case scenario), or you'll get standard long distance time etc.
 
File the paperwork and then maybe she'll start talking.
 
And be nice -- you'll make more progress.  Keep it totally business like.

ocean

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Re: Out of State Visitation questions-help
« Reply #6 on: Jun 20, 2009, 06:49:07 AM »
You need to file for visitation. Do it now because it will take months to get in settled. You should be getting most school vacations and 4-6 weeks in the summer. Look on this site, there are many parenting plans. You need to make it detailed so mom cant waiver from them.
ex.
On  odd years, child will fly/picked up on Dec 26 and return Jan 1 (with times if possible or how a flight would work). In even years, father will have child from the day school lets out to Dec 31 (you get Christmas).

Summer visit will June 15 at 12pm (or morning flight) to July 31st at 12pm. If it is 6 weeks this gives mom her own vacation time to take child somewhere.

If you are flying child, who pays? oR gas? You can get a child support credit for travel costs if you go get child.

MomofTwo

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Re: Out of State Visitation questions-help
« Reply #7 on: Jun 20, 2009, 07:56:57 AM »
Ocean gave you great advice.  It is not reasonable for you to expect the entire summer as Mom is entitled to vacation time as well.  Typically 4-6 weeks in the summer plus rotate holidays depending on odd/even years.
 
Who moved away and caused the distance? That is typically who is responsible for all tranportation costs and if you caused the distance, then a child support reduction may not be granted. Additionally, when the distance was created there was no adjustment of support or transportation costs allocated, so it may not be granted now.
 
So you are aware, support and visitation have nothing to do with each other. You paying the support does not give you visitation.
 

Davy

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Re: Out of State Visitation questions-help
« Reply #8 on: Jun 20, 2009, 10:43:02 AM »
I couldn't disagree more with momofftoo OF COURSE.  What you have been presented with is a continuance of THEIR status quo where a child is disenfranchised from her father with substaintial financal reward to the mother who remains unaccountable to anybody anywhere. Beautiful for their self-centered abusive power base.
 
In essence, considering the mother's deplorable behavior over a long time period along with your honorable behavior you may want to consider a custodial change in order to bring about a healthy balance in the child's life.  You are real important to the child.
 
At very least, a lucrative court-ordered access for the child beyond their defined standards would be most proper along with a substantial reduction in the mother's welfare entitlement.
 
Play nice like MB suggested but be softly direct and always focus your thoughts and words on the child...not the mother or yourself ( ie "child has only had access to her father for 3 weeks over a two year period").  Take a stand and your child will benefit.  Things are no longer mommy-dearest ego or manipulations.
 
Best to ya and your daughter. 

MixedBag

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Re: Out of State Visitation questions-help
« Reply #9 on: Jun 20, 2009, 11:07:37 AM »
and take note of how Davy said his example:
 
Quote
( ie "child has only had access to her father for 3 weeks over a two year period").  [/unquote]
 
notice how he said the CHILD has only had access
 
as opposed to
 
The Father has only had access to his child for 3 weeks over a 2 year period.
 
 

 

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