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Author Topic: How do we get father's more rights?  (Read 4445 times)

mbray

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How do we get father's more rights?
« on: Jul 31, 2009, 02:16:48 PM »
I am the step-mother ( I like bonus mom personally) of an 8 year old from my husband's first marriage.   His mother worked swings so the child was with us 75% of the time and had been for about 3 years.(from age 2-5)  When we decided to get married, she decided that visitation would be 50/50 ( she miraculously got a day job 2 weeks after we told her we were getting married).  Then about 8 months later, when we couldn't agree on which school he should attend, she decided that our visitation would be every other weekend and one day a week and that she was deciding on the school We took her to court to fight the visitation and the school and 16 months later when we finally got in front of a judge after she kept dragging out mediation, the  judge said the child was used to the visitation so we should keep it that way.   Now she has informed us that she will be making all decisions from now on, since once again they cannot agree on a new day care.  they have a joint parenting agreement that pretty much says he gets reasonable visitation and if they can't agree they go to mediation, period.  It is blank and of no help.  I want to know how to help him and other father's in this situation.  I am irritated with her, but more so with the legal system who thinks that dads don't need to be involved.  I would be willing to write letters, speak to people, whatever I need to do.  This state needs to wake up and change.


armycoppertop

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Re: How do we get father's more rights?
« Reply #1 on: Aug 02, 2009, 07:06:39 PM »
Let me know who to address them to, and I will write letters too!! I am originally from IL, born and raised there, but had been away for 8 years because of mine and my ex husband's military service, went back from 06-08 on military orders and my new husband is another active duty service member from IL who got screwed by the IL court system! We have relocated from IL due to new military orders, but still claim IL as our home of residence and his stuff for his daughter still goes through there.

awakenlynn

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Re: How do we get father's more rights?
« Reply #2 on: Sep 12, 2009, 01:25:08 PM »
Unfortunately, it really depends on the judge and attorneys.  DH's case was in IL from 1993 when his daughter was born until 2008.  Both he and ex's hubby were in the military and for the majority of the years both parties lived in other states.  IL made sure the court orders stated clearly that they retained jurisdiction due to military service.
 
While at one time our court order also read "reasonable visitiation" that was a disaster.  You need a very detailed order such as 1st, 3rd, 5th weekends from time school lets out on Fridays until Sunday 6pm and every Wed's. for example.  Once we got our order spelled out if was as if he had joint custody even though the terms weren't used.   Our case only moved from IL to TX in 2008 when ex's IL attorney chose not to represent her again and suggested she look at TX.  Which wasn't too bad for us, she registered the order so there was no changes.  The TX judge is more strict on ex and hasn't put up with her games and ex has tried.  She pulled one over Christmas last year which kept us from our court ordered visit (it was to be split in half) and so this year the judge ordered us to have the entire visit besides our regular Thanksgiving visit.  Besides that, the child support has dropped and ends when she turns 18 (or graduates--which is later for her) and no orders for it to extend to college like IL does.
 
Also brother-in-law has full custody of daughter in IL so it can be done.  My advice is to research, research, research!  Be VERY specific and document everything, do nothing unless its in writing.  Also make sure you have a good attorney and review anything before he does it.  With all the work I did for my hubby's case I would qualify as a paralegal now.
 
Some counties are getting better about making sure dad's do stay involved, it just takes alot of work.  I will keep my fingers crossed for you.  Good luck!

Davy

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Re: How do we get father's more rights?
« Reply #3 on: Sep 12, 2009, 05:03:07 PM »
I think there are a couple of Illinois FR groups (posted this forum) that are working issues especially Joint custody.

Davy

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Re: How do we get father's more rights?
« Reply #4 on: Sep 14, 2009, 12:52:10 PM »
[HIGHLIGHT=#ffffff]Unfortunately, it really depends on the judge and attorneys.  [/HIGHLIGHT]

[HIGHLIGHT=#ffffff]IL made sure the court orders stated clearly that they retained jurisdiction due to military service.

Our case only moved from IL to TX in 2008 when ex's IL attorney chose not to represent her again and suggested she look at TX.
[/HIGHLIGHT]


DOES anyone think it is proper for a judge or attorney to create their own legislation ?

A noted child advocate published a book as far back as 1980 entitled "Our Endangered Children".  In the book the author named " ILL and NOISE " and  " WASHINGTON " as states particurlarly willing to encourage parental kidnapping.

The Uniformed Child Custody Jurisdiction Act (UCCJA and it's off spring) began being enacted in all the states in 1968.  The accompanying federal statues Parental Kidnapping Preventionl Act (PKPA) were enacted in 1980.

The point is that these statues were put in place primarily for the protection of children and did not just appear out of thin air.

I'm glad things worked out well for these kids (may be the case should not have been in IL to begin with) but there have been a ton of chilren that have not been as fortunate.

Sometimes one may find they have to go after corrupt judges and attorneys.


 

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