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Author Topic: New to this and so completely lost  (Read 8460 times)


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Re: New to this and so completely lost
« Reply #10 on: Aug 14, 2009, 03:25:16 AM »

I would also add that when you consider what would be a "fair" parenting time period for your child's dad, then flip it around.  Would you consider it to be fair if that was the time alloted to you if you were NCP?  If not, why?  Then revise until you think it would be a good time spread for you.  It really does help to try to stand in the other parent's shoes and see it from their side.
You might check to see if mediation is an option in your state.  Here in Oregon, both parents are court required to submit to 8 hours of mediation to try to work out parenting/custody issues between them.  If they need more time, the court generally approves it.  That was the ONLY time that I felt that we both came out win-win rather than lose-lose.  If the parents cannot agree, then the judge decides.  It may take your ex some time to get to that point that mediation is trying for a winning solution that PARENTS come up with rather than the court.  Judges don't give a rip and lawyers only want the money.  The more cash, the merrier.  I spent over $25000 over 14 years.  What a waste of college money for our son.  It bought my attorney a very nice car, however.

Hubby's lawyer racked up $9000 in fees in a period of 2 years.  My attorney racked up $6000 in under a year.  It really does get up there, and I totally agree, its not worth a penny either.  Lawyers and judges should be the very last resort for separated parents. 

We wound up with a $10k bill in a matter of months.  Amazing how quickly it totals up.  Don't think attorneys aren't watching every minute (and rounding up) that they are in communication with you via phone, in person or by email.  Keep it short.


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