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Author Topic: Oh my GOODNESS! Loosing my mind!  (Read 14403 times)

mafitz

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Re: Oh my GOODNESS! Loosing my mind!
« Reply #10 on: Aug 21, 2009, 08:55:39 PM »
But in this case dad is in the same state currently, and no child support has been paid.  If there is currently no order for custody or support how do you think this will effect her? 
 
 


MixedBag

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Re: Oh my GOODNESS! Loosing my mind!
« Reply #11 on: Aug 22, 2009, 06:29:48 AM »
From another post here at the site -- they were never married.
 
From experience and reading here -- 99% of the time that means when the baby was born, mom is automatically the primary residential, custodial parent.
 
From this thread -- dad has filed to have that changed to himself.
 
Dad finished Marine Corps boot camp and is still in the local area -- that part has me confused too BECAUSE usually when you finish boot camp you get assigned "elsewhere" -- UNLESS it's the Marine Corp Reserves and not active duty.  Then again, southern California has a large Marine Corps presence.
 
Reason I say this is because the -- geez, I'm gonna get this name wrong -- the Soldiers and Sailors Civil Relief Act protects active duty members.
 
So -- if he is active duty or if he is reserves and has been activated (like getting ready to deploy), court actions will be placed on hold until he can appear (like when he gets back).
 
If he is active duty, he will get a higher pay check IF he has a dependent or is paying child support per an order.
 
IF he is active duty, he automatically provides Tri-Care Prime (100% health care covered if you use the system) for the dependent child. -- custody and orders are not a factor, he just has to be the father on the birth certificate.
 
His income is basically a matter of public record now.
 
 

CartersMom0905

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Re: Oh my GOODNESS! Loosing my mind!
« Reply #12 on: Aug 22, 2009, 08:43:02 PM »
   He is active duty, but there are only two bases on the west coast as far as I know, Pendleton and 29 Palms. He did his boot at Pendleton and is now doing his MOS training at 29 Palms. So at least until he finishes with that, he'll be local because luckily we don't live terribly far from there.
    He told me that he was in fact getting a higher pay because of our son, but that didn't seem fair to me because he doesn't put any of that money towards taking care of him.
   And he does have Tri-Care, but I have no idea how to use it. It's all brand new to me, so if any one has any info on that too that would be great. I don't know where I'm allowed to take him to be seen, or what I'm supposed to pay out of pocket or any of that.
   He was really angry this week because I told him I didn't feel comfortable with our son going to his parent's house for the weekend, and I don't know if he was just spitting angry words, or if it's actually possible, but he told me that his SSG told him that it's effecting his performance and there for effecting everyone else, so they said they were going to take legal action themselves(Meaning the Marine Corps it's self) and move to make my ex the primary custodial parent so that he can basically then just sign over custody to his parents. Can they do this? Would they even do this? It doesn't make sense to me. I can fight my ex in court until the cows come home, but fighting the U.S. Marine Corps? How do I even begin?
   I don't know if they really said that or if he's just blowing smoke because he's angry.


-Sharon
       "I don't mind living in a man's world, as long as I can be a woman in it."   

snowrose

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Re: Oh my GOODNESS! Loosing my mind!
« Reply #13 on: Aug 22, 2009, 10:14:53 PM »
Carter'smom, as I understand it you can call your ex's base and find out who his commander is.  The services take great pride in their people handling families correctly and chances are the commander will be willing to help you set things up correctly so your son is taken care of correctly with insurance and all.  The commander will also encourage your ex to do his duty properly by the child.
 
As to the paperwork you filled out, it can really pull your hair out.  I'm sorry to say but I'm not sure you have to file a response to your ex's petition.  If the petition has never been served to you then I *think* the case may be stalled and you need some advice from someone as to how to get around your ex never finishing with the filing.  I think that means you have to go back to the Family Law service to get some directions on how to respond correctly to your ex's unserved filling.

MixedBag

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Re: Oh my GOODNESS! Loosing my mind!
« Reply #14 on: Aug 23, 2009, 07:36:45 AM »
He's either getting the Dependent Rate BAQ or the rate where there's a CS order set BAQ -- geez, yep,, it's been a while.
 
Tri-Care is EASY PEASY....
 
His social security number is the policy number.
 
As an active duty member, 100% of the child's medical is covered -- NO out of pocket expenses unless you don't follow their rules and use non-participating providers.
 
If a provider accepts medicaid/medicare, they accept tri-care limits, they just might not know it.
 
Pharmacy co-pays are $3 and $9 depending on the medication or FREE on the base.
 
Call the base's hospital at 29Palms and ask for the Tri-Care Coordinator.  They will fill you in on the basic rules and maybe even give you the on-line website to use.  Im in the south so mine is different.
 
There are different levels of Tri-Care, but since he's active duty, it should be Tri-Care Prime.


mafitz

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Re: Oh my GOODNESS! Loosing my mind!
« Reply #15 on: Aug 23, 2009, 01:42:48 PM »
But to get the base coverage won't she need to have a military dependent's id for her son?  How does she get that without the dad getting it for her?
 
If he is getting the extra pay for dependents then he has no reason whatsoever not to be paying child support.  He has to know not paying c.s. is going to result in them taking his pay for every month he has not paid on top of the current amount he will be set to pay.  Its not making much sense.

MixedBag

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Re: Oh my GOODNESS! Loosing my mind!
« Reply #16 on: Aug 23, 2009, 07:33:10 PM »
Hmmm -- that requires a trip to Maxwell AFB and I'd be asking customer service at the Military Personnel Flight what they would require.
 
Now -- that would be the Air Force answer.
 
I also remember that my kids as dependents didn't get ID cards until they were age 10.....and that had nothing to do with a divorce....just their rules.
 
Tri-Care off base -- well, they'd ask for the information and ID card yes, then you tell them that even having an ID card for any insurance company DOESN'T guarantee coverage.....and give them dad's social security number and let them call Tri-Care for your area.
 
BTW -- IF there are medical bills that go back to the day he enlisted, I'd turn those in before October 1st of this year so that they could get processed and MAYBE mom will get reimbursed if she paid for something out of her pocket.
 
I also agree with contacting his commander......

armycoppertop

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Re: Oh my GOODNESS! Loosing my mind!
« Reply #17 on: Aug 23, 2009, 08:08:39 PM »
Prior service Army human resource specialist, as well as a DEERS Verifying Officail (the person that does the computer stuff to get people military IDs and medical coverage), but a lot of the issues here overlap branches. I didn't read all the replies, so I might be repeating.
 
#1... all he has to do is have a paternity test done (because you were not married when the child was born... to many women claim military personnel are the fathers to get free benefits when the guy is NOT the father), turn that into DEERS (covers ALL branches) along with the birth certificate and Social Security card, and the child is enrolled into DEERS and is authorized a military ID card. He should also be court ordered to provide health insurance and dental, with DEERS enrollment and the court order, he will automatically have TriCare health and he will be required to pay the whooping like $9 a month premium for United Concordia (TriCare dental). Technically, TriCare only provides medical/dental if the service member provides 50% of the child's support (most VOs don't bother with that part of the process, but the sticklers will mark "provides less than 50% support"), and you have to fill out paperwork to get that declaration, but a court order basically overrides that.
 
#2... there is NOTHING that stops single parents from being service members. It is ILLEGAL to so much as SUGGEST that they can't have custody. Most services don't want CURRENT single parents JOINING, because the lifestyle is not really condusive, but some of them have exceptions for reserve or active duty or national guard, but if you are already in, they can't do a DARN thing about it other than require a family care plan (a plan that explains how the child is going to be taken care of during duty, at NO time can a service member say they can't perform ANY duty due to having a child... this is why I am no longer a Soldier, be a mom or be a Soldier, I couldn't find anyone to take care of my kids evenings and weekends and during field exercises when I moved to a civilian community on active duty.
 
#3... as long as he has dependents, he does not neccassarily need custody. Finance regulations (all services) state that a service member court ordered to pay equal or more than BAH TYPE TWO W/ Dependents will receive Type 2 BAH. My husband was authorized BAH TYPE ONE W/ Dependents based on his court order since he had to pay type 2 in child support but also gets visitation and needs a place for SD to stay during those visits. It is a moot point now, he is authorized it all based on me, anyhow, but before we got married, it helped. Some pays he may not get depending on if finance regs allow for branch specific deviations. But all he would get without being deployed would be housing allowance type 2 while in barracks, or type one to live off base and seperate rats instead of eating in the chow hall.
 
Once you have a court order requiring him to pay child support, you send that into DFAS... don't mess with his chain of command, DFAS has to process the child support order to be deducted out of his paycheck automatically. If he is not complying with any OTHER part of a court order - DEERS enrollment, paying any non-covered expenses he is court ordered to pay, etc - THAT you go to his chain of command and show them the court order. If they fail to order him to comply with the court order, you go to JAG. I don't know USMC regs, but Army regs state that a single Soldier can NOT have custody at the time of enlistment, they must give COURT ORDERED FULL custody to someone else and can NOT get custody back during their first term unless extenuating circumstances arise (I was considering giving my ex custody when we first split and did a LOT of research on this issue. I couldn't do it and used a different loophole and program to get on active status) such as the legal custodian becomes unfit. Army reseves may now enlist as single parents with a family care plan, but that just changed during my active duty tour from 06-08. Before then, even a reservist couldn't enlist as a single parent!
 
The Soldier Sailor act will only prevent him from dealing with court issues DURING DEPLOYMENT (and probably while in training). However, FILE NOW!! Anything you file now will be put on hold, however,  it can be BACKDATED to the day you filed. The act is there to protect the service member from being screwed due to inability to appear in court, NOT as something for him to use to protect himself from having to face court proceedings and what would have happened during the deployment (hence the reason my ex's child support for his second wife is backdated TWO YEARS!! She filed shortly before he deployed for 15 months and tried to get the hearings done while he was GONE so he couldn't fight for his parental rights.)

MixedBag

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Re: Oh my GOODNESS! Loosing my mind!
« Reply #18 on: Aug 24, 2009, 07:10:04 AM »
Carter's Mom -- print that previous post.
 
 

Dadto4

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Re: Oh my GOODNESS! Loosing my mind!
« Reply #19 on: Aug 30, 2009, 11:24:14 PM »
To add to what armycoppertop said. I know for a fact if child support is not issued by the court, they he has to give you the differance between single and dependant BAH. If he is not talk to his 1st Sgt. Also I am single and have custody of my daughter been deployed and all that good jaz. You always have to fill out a parenting plan, even if your married in case your spouse has something happen to him/her while you are deployed.

 

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