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FC Dissolution- w/o children?

Started by lost_soul, Mar 17, 2011, 08:57:20 PM

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lost_soul

What exactly does that mean? the divorce has been filed claiming no minor children?

my boyfriend's ex wife has filed that, trying to take custody of their son. i was under the impression that when that is filed, once the divorce is completely done, that because she claimed there were no children involved, she is claiming she doesn't want her son back, and that if thats the case, she wont be able to, or at least it's going to be very very difficult for her to attempt to re-open a custody battle. is this true?

this is all happening in kansas, by the way.

bloom6372

Unless a parent's rights are terminated (willfully or not), then they can request a modification in custody. That doesn't mean they will GET that modification. Is there any Court Order in place now regarding your SS? How long has SS been living with BF? Does he have RECORDS of SS living there (school records, medical records, etc)? Have there been any issues with school (failing, lots of absenses, etc)? Any abuse/neglect charges? If you have proof of SS living there primarily for a long period of time, and there have been no issues that would seem to cause harm to SS, then she more than likely will NOT get primary custody, but she can request joint custody (legal and/or physical). However, joint doesn't mean "equal", so keep that in mind.

lost_soul

currently there are no records or court orders of who gets him, and there are medical records of him living with his father, as of april first, he will have been with him for 6 months straight, but the records do indicate that even she was seeing her son on a normal basis, she did not take him to the doctors for the numerous health issues he was having. he is currently to young to be in school,  so there is no records for that. no neglect charges as of yet, but we have proof of her not feeding him, up to and including medical documentation of this 2 year old loosing weight and his medical coverage lapsing while in her care. she blamed the weight on him running around and playing, yet he runs around and plays with us all day long and has done nothing but gain weight since we have taken full custody of the child.

the father does want to move to Texas, as he has family out there who want to take care of him, and has gotten 4 job offers pending his move. when we told the mother of this, she freaked out, and filed to have the divorce, but filed it as the heading says, stating it is without children, which is what we don't understand. he knows to read the divorce papers first, and if it says he is not allowed to move, he is going to fight that, but because she filed it w/o children, we are not expecting that.

what should the father do, in this case, for the best interest of the child and himself?

ocean

Does she have a lawyer? Sounds like she filled out the wrong papers...it should have the child in there even if it just says "as the parties agree".

If he moves, he will be responsible to fly child to mom a few times a year. If child is under age to fly alone , he will need to get 2 tickets. He can also offer any time she is in Tx for a visit, she can have child.

lost_soul

she does have a lawyer, which is why i'm confused. shouldn't he have given her the correct papers as HE is the one filing? something just doesn't seem right.

lost_soul

or, i suppose rather he is the one sending the filing in.

bloom6372

I would contact her attorney, IN WRITING, letting them know that they filed paperwork stating there are no children, but there is one child from their marriage. Keep a copy for yourself and send it certified just to cover your butt. It seems like she either said nothing about your SS, or that she is trying to pull something.

Is the current filing for divorce or custody, or both? Sorry, I am a little confused and don't know if this is the intial filing for the divorce or not.

ocean

Is she wanting some custody now of child since she is mad or just wants a divorce?
I would do what Bloom said, send a registered or certified letter so you have proof it was sent to her lawyer (and will cost her some money)

Lawyer,
I received divorce paperwork from your office. It states there is no children from this marriage but in fact there is. I have physical custody of child. I am enclosing a copy of the child's birth certificate. I am willing to sign correct paperwork. Please send me a copy of what your client is asking for my review.
Thank you for your time.
You

Do not say anything about the move. See where she is coming from first...

Also start getting records that you have child....when you go to dr/dentist, have them write in file that dad brought child, get copy.
Sign up for programs at the library, pre-school...showing you registered child there and you sign child in.
Take pictures almost daily with date time stamped. Have someone else take pictures that they can testify child is with you. Keep on computer for now and print out for court if needed.
Save all email/texts offering time...her denying time

Be careful NOW, if there are no custody now, she can come get child and not return child (legally...). You may want to do supervised visits until she signs paperwork filed in court.

lost_soul

the lawyer already knows about the move, that was what spurred the whole thing, and we let the lawyer know about it, and he said he understands there are children, thats how the mother wanted to file, so i'm confused to her motivations right now. we have been taking pictures and getting what records we can, but as he's 2, he hasn't had any schooling, but all of his medical records have the dads name on them. and i mean all, even when she had him, she refused to take him to the doctors office, or when she did, she'd sit outside and wait until they were done leaving the dad with my step son.

and we do also have every text/email and even facebook messages of her threatening physical violence against the father, saying she has hit him before and she is prepared and willing to do it again 'because i hate him so much' (in her owns words) and we have that all as screen captures. she does refuse to give him the birth certificate and we are currently dealing with the state to get a new one, he filed and paid, they claimed they never got the money or request.

and i'm confused as well as to exactly what it is. it STARTED because of the letter stating the father had intentions to move, and yet all she talks about is the divorce, not really getting her son back. she's mentioned it a few times, but 9 out of 10 times she talks about the divorce so she can go marry her newest boyfriend.

ocean

I would call a local lawyer and see if you can even sign those papers...I think there is a line that says there are no children from this marriage...as part of it. How can you sign that?
She wants to get married....so that paperwork is usually faster to get through...
She does not want to pay child support so if you sign these...possibly she may be able to get out of it...

Did you get the whole set of papers? What did her lawyer say about not having child in the papers?
Call him and ask....(but get your own lawyer opinion on this...)
Tell lawyer if he switches it to the right papers with you having custody and a provision to move you will sign without court...see if that gets them going...


You can file in family court for temporary custody...child is with you...and ask for the move...

lost_soul

the problem though is she says she DOES want the child, but doesn't do anything about it, and when we talked to her, SHE admitted she asked specifically for those papers. i don't want to get into any legal trouble, and we did speak to both lawyers, ours says the same as you, hers says she requested them, she says she doesn't want to change them, but she DOES want to take the child. i'm so confused! :(

this whole thing seems like some bad trap or some horrible nightmare and her lawyer has no clue what he's doing! our lawyer is speaking to her's on monday.

bloom6372

Contact the lawer IN WRITING, to have proof that SHE requested the papers claiming no children. Look over the papers with a fine tooth comb and see what it says (if anything) regarding the child. If it says nothing, then file a Motion for Custody, and make sure to include any and all information you have about dates that SS has been with you all (if it's easier, note the only dates that BM saw SS). Were the papers you received filed with the Courts, or just sent to your bf?

lost_soul

filed. her lawyer filed them and had him served.

ocean

and it is a basic divorce? no mention of kids?
Is there a line anywhere in there that there are no kids from this marriage?

Is it filed with a court date? or just filed?

lost_soul

filed with a court date and it specifically says no kids.

Davy

#15
Just FYI and hopefully to cut to the chase.  Some states allow family matters to bifurcate where as matters are treated / handled separately ie  dissolving the marriage, custody arrangements of children, division of property, etc.  If your state allows bifurcation and considering the father has created the status quo with the child in his possession (without posting the reason) there is some cause for this filing to see if the father just might, as an example, abscound out of state with the child placing the father in a very bad light with the court while mama crys  "poor little me" giving the court reason to  look favorably to the BM.

Assuming the father is the biological, I think it is best to proceed as normal and file for temporary custody may be using the  same case number as the divorce filing.  Casually mention in your filing your intent to relocate the child due to job opportunities and encourage the BM access to the child in the new jurisdiction at least until the child is older.  Do not address CS in your filing at this time.  The court, on it's own accord, will likely rule on CS, approval to relocate the child, etc if need be either by state statue or social policy.

Not an attorney and this posting is for your consideration.  BTW, it has always been good advice to NEVER communicate with the opposing attorney .... the system is adverserial and an attorney is an officer of the court and a snake in the grass.