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Author Topic: Question about court-ordered therapy for children..?  (Read 10553 times)

MixedBag

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Re: Question about court-ordered therapy for children..?
« Reply #10 on: May 13, 2011, 04:49:08 AM »
sounds like a typical double standard to me.
 
I sorta disagree with Ocean's advice this time -- but it also depends on how well dad can handle himself.
 
IF he's "strong enough" to sit back and watch mom make a fool of herself, then I would give her the information and let the chips fall where they may.
\
Facts are facts, and if the child is gonna finish 8th grade and get enrolled into a regular school, how is she gonna stop it or change anything -- let THEM handle her, let dad sit back, and answer questions of the school....blah blah blah....
 
To me it's doing it the right way, the way the court wanted you to do it, and letting mom hang herself.
 
 


chickenbubbasmom

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Re: Question about court-ordered therapy for children..?
« Reply #11 on: May 13, 2011, 06:12:20 PM »
Ocean- Not giving to much information, that is definitely a lesson we have now learned the hard way. I agree with the low contact, it's just very difficult with this woman. Especially now that one of the children is with us.. she is hell-bent on getting some of that control back any way she can.

 Today BM demanded to pick up the child an hour early and when DH told her to stick to the schedule, she showed up any way and sent the younger child to the door, then began honking in front of our home. I was home alone at the time with our two year old daughter. This is very typical of what we go through several times a week.

Mixed bag, we don't want to give her any ammo, but also DH is at his wit's end and doesn't want to be anywhere near her. I agree though, it is the RIGHT WAY, and it is what we would want if the roles were reversed.. just not sure how much more my poor DH can take.

Kent

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Re: Question about court-ordered therapy for children..?
« Reply #12 on: May 15, 2011, 03:11:52 PM »
And this is a situation where I would keep a camcorder rolling.

But to avoid it altogether; arrange for the exchanges in a public place (preferably one with security cameras), or have the separating parent bring the child to the other household. This also prevents the separating parent from promising or starting a fun activity just before the other parent shows up, and then blame the other parent for ruining their fun.
I used this schedule later on with my son, and it reduced conflict quite a bit.

Kent!

chickenbubbasmom

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Re: Question about court-ordered therapy for children..?
« Reply #13 on: May 18, 2011, 11:41:00 AM »
Hi Kent, the meeting place for BM to pick up is supposed to be at the gas station located near our home for the reason you stated
(cameras, as well as receipt to document we arrived on time). Because the court order is not specific enough (no matter how many times they go back, courts never seem to get it right) the order has curbside, but the minutes say the gas station..BM picks and chooses a different spot depending on her mood. One day it will be gas station with police present, next time it will be outside of our gated community, and the time after that will be in front of our home an hour early, honking her horn.

As far as promising or starting a fun activity before the other parent shows up, BM will straight out deny visitation if she has anything planned. She has figured out very well how to manipulate the system. She will have the younger child call the day before and tell DH he wants to do an activity on DH's time (almost always involving BM). If DH doesn't agree, she simply disappears with the child and turns her phone off. The police will not come out and make a report without DH knowing her location. DH can file a report over the phone, through an automated report line, but that report will then be dismissed as hearsay in court. Have experienced this several times already. Any suggestions in a situation like that.?

MixedBag

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Re: Question about court-ordered therapy for children..?
« Reply #14 on: May 18, 2011, 01:16:27 PM »
hearsay??  Ummm....no it's not.
 
If the child isn't exchanged at the court appointed time, HOW is that hearsay?
 
Actually, I'd go to the court appointed location and buy that pack of gum.
 
Then you gotta follow through in family court with a "Motion to Show Cause" because MOM isn't exchanging the child at the court appointed time.
 
And if you have a gated community -- how is she getting past the gate?
 
 


ocean

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Re: Question about court-ordered therapy for children..?
« Reply #15 on: May 18, 2011, 01:36:58 PM »
Buy the gum, go to the police station and demand nicely, a written report. I just wrote under your other post but also, after she denies go on your online page and write, "just at exchange according to court order, please let me know the kids are okay and when I can have make-up time"

Bring video or tape auditory with phone in case she shows up and speaks...we were allowed to use audio in court and to law guardian.

msme

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Re: Question about court-ordered therapy for children..?
« Reply #16 on: May 26, 2011, 07:09:17 PM »
This might be too late but I thought I would throw it out anyway. Ask the school if the school counselor be present when you go to register. Explain about the mother & then give her the info. Let her show herself to them. They will immediately be your allies.
 
As far as her sitting outside your house blowing the horn use the time tracker to record all the problems with the exchanges. Then ask your neighbors to call the police when she does this. If she is warned more than once, she can get a ticket for disturbing the peace.
 
Get creative & let her hang herself.

 

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