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Author Topic: Question for a friend about an unborn child  (Read 3675 times)

Raisin_3

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Question for a friend about an unborn child
« on: Aug 08, 2011, 01:34:35 PM »
So my friends gf is pregnant.  Due in about 4 months.  Friend has realized he is not in love with her and does not want to be with her.  GF's family lives in a different state than friend and his family do- she moved there with him.  I have advised friend he has little rights at this point.  That he is best off to wait until the baby is born and then he can petition for the baby to stay in his state, but friend thinks he will get a court to order her back to his state with the baby.
 
They have had several issues- gf cheating several years ago being one of them and friend has never gotten over it (which I told him at the time he took he back that he would never move on but he swore he would).
 
What is his best course of action?  I hate to tell him to stay with her until the baby is born but if he doesn't he pretty much gives up any chance he has to keep her in his state.  Can he petition when she is pg to stop her from leaving the state?  I tried to tell him to stay with her and get some counseling and try to make it work but he is done.  She kind of 'trapped' him with the pregnancy and never told him she went off birth control until she was already pg.


Simplydad

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Re: Question for a friend about an unborn child
« Reply #1 on: Aug 08, 2011, 01:47:41 PM »
If the child is born out of stated I can pretty much say he has zero chance of getting a court to force her to move to your state.   I highly doubt he can petition for to not leave the state.   

The cheating issue will not have any relevance in this matter because this not a divorce.

His best course of action is after the baby is born to determine paternity.  He will not get any visitation until that is established.   When the baby is born and if they still live in the state he can file for a motion for her to remain in state with the child until paternity and custody is established

ocean

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Re: Question for a friend about an unborn child
« Reply #2 on: Aug 08, 2011, 03:24:07 PM »
Tell him to go to a lawyer to hear it himself (free consultations). You have been on here a long time, we have never heard a judge make a pregnant women return to any state. Once she is there, that will be the home state as that is where the baby will be born.

Lay it out there for friend:
Stay with her, you get:
See baby when it is born
Name on birth certificate (are you sure it is his though before he signs)
Can make her stay in HIS state now
Can get ducks in row with a place to stay and have court papers ready
Fight to have her remain in area to get the most out of a parenting plan

If she goes:
Have to wait until baby is born, miss birth
Not have any access or legal means to see child until paternity is established and he gets into HER court
Long distance parenting plan
Prob be forced into paying half or all transport as child is born there...

Kitty C.

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Re: Question for a friend about an unborn child
« Reply #3 on: Aug 08, 2011, 04:23:18 PM »
But if you're wondering what should be done FIRST, it would be DNA testing.........he needs to make DAMN sure that child is his before he does ANYTHING else.  Because if the child isn't his (and given her history, it sounds like a distinct possibility), all the rest of it is a moot point.
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......

Raisin_3

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Re: Question for a friend about an unborn child
« Reply #4 on: Aug 08, 2011, 06:49:20 PM »

But if you're wondering what should be done FIRST, it would be DNA testing.........he needs to make DAMN sure that child is his before he does ANYTHING else.  Because if the child isn't his (and given her history, it sounds like a distinct possibility), all the rest of it is a moot point.

 
I would bet money that it is his.  She screwed up and has really paid for it the last 2 years.  He has pretty much beat her down (not physically) about this and she stays to keep proving she loves him and would do anything for him.  It is a messed up relationship and they are probably better off apart but I still feel bad b/c of the baby.  He doesn't understand the heartbreak of not having your child with you all the time.  My dh tried to talk to him too but he thinks he knows it all.


Kitty C.

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Re: Question for a friend about an unborn child
« Reply #5 on: Aug 08, 2011, 07:27:19 PM »
That's understandable, but it still should be the first thing that needs to be done. 
 
So she wants to stay and he wants her to go?  Even more reason for DNA testing.  She may want to keep him on the string just because she knows that he's the only she can get the most money from.  But if she leaves the state, it will be virtually impossible to get the courts to order her back.  But it certainly won't stop her from filing for CS.  And if he's not the father, I seriously doubt he wants to pay support on a child that isn't his.
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......

 

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