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Author Topic: Who has control  (Read 948 times)


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Who has control
« on: Apr 12, 2006, 03:55:51 PM »
I'm a brand new user so please bear with me. My daughter is now 15 and causing a stir about spending time with me. Mainly NOT spending the night at my house, this due mainly that there are chores and rules to follow etc. I'm sure that most of you have heard this one before.  I have been divorced 12 years and re-marrired with (with step children) for 10 years. Our joint custody agreement has been in place for this entire time. Now to the problems. First is the issue of remaining steadfast on her not only spending the same amount of time with me(us) but also no changes in her being with me overnight(she has her own bedroom). I have told her that I will not give-in to her idea and will take the necessary intervention steps if she decides to pull some sort of fast one. Under Louisiana law, what are my options and rights with a 15 year old girl. Remember it is a joint custody agreement with her mom as primary parent, but we have operated in this manner for many years.  Secondly, what recourse do I have if her mom withholds the child etc.  Next is the issue her mom's staying overnight with her boyfriend. Our agreement is very clear and strict that no person of the opposite sex stays overnight at the ex's home. But her mom has now on occasion stayed overnight at her boyfriend's home with my daughter, plus staying on weekend getaways in the same hotel/motel room with the boyfriend and again with my daughter. Help. I need any information.


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Sometimes you have to deal with things that are entirely unfair
« Reply #1 on: Apr 17, 2006, 09:41:41 AM »
I cannot speak for Louisiana law, but only in generalities.

At 15, judges are unlikely to force a child to go to visitaion. If it is the mom specifically that is keeping the child from you, then you might have a contempt case. If it is the child physically not going with you, chances are you are SOL.

This causes the 15 year old to start feeling what power they have and really messing with you and mom. DH has a 15 year old and she doesn't really know that we can technically force her to come. If she did... she would EASILY pick hanging out with her friends over staying with us.

Our take is, when SD is resistant, give in a little and make it seem more like your idea. This will keep her from feeling that she can take advantage and take away the ammunition that mom would have if you strickly followed the papers.

Morally, I don't have a problem with a 15 year old stayin the night with a parent and a parent's special someone. DH and I were not legally married but we had been dating for 11 years before we got married. BM tried to pull the old "I don't think it is right to have SD stay with you and SM if the two of you are sleeping in the same bed" 8 years after I first met SD. BTW, DH and BM got pregant out of wedlock, so I don't see her aving any room to talk..... Enough about me...

It looks like BM found a loophole. I understand you might not like the idea, but you need to ask yourself how damaging it really is to your daughter. You may want to choose another battle.

Take care


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