I wholeheartedly agree.....they see and they know. SS
is 17 and just chomping at the bit to get out of BM
's house. On his 18th b-day in Feb., I would not be surprised at all if he makes a beeline for her door.
But what continues to amaze me is how he comes to me to talk. He does this when he knows that whatever he wants to say may be taken out of context by either of his bio-parents. I guess he feels that even tho I am a 'parent' of sorts to him, he sees me as someone he can talk to without having any pre-conceived notions. I listen
to him, I let him talk. I know that BM never lets him do that and, tho I know he loves his father deeply, DH
can often be 'too close' to the situation to be able to respond as objectively as possible. I am close enough for him to talk, but displaced just enough that he feels safe to talk freely, you know?
And kids will remember that.....long after they're on their own....