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Author Topic: to leave case open or close it?  (Read 2617 times)


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to leave case open or close it?
« on: Nov 08, 2011, 12:22:09 PM »
I opened a case of child support in California but due to having no family in the United States and having no contact with the father of the baby, we relocated abroad.
I didnt close the case before leaving and all I know is that child support has all my info, the father got a letter of intent but the agency had not calculated amount and had not served him yet.
I was told it was going to be more difficult since I am abroad but it could be doable.
For the child, I think it might be better to leave case open and see where it takes us. But honestly speaking, if I have to travel for a court date I dont know if I can afford it
Any thoughts on this?
yes I know I blocked the fathers possibilities of seeing his son but living an hour away, he never saw his son and never provided for him.
Father is married and for now he has no intention of seeking custody and he could care less that his son has ONLY my last name
so shall I leave case open or close it?


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Re: to leave case open or close it?
« Reply #1 on: Nov 08, 2011, 06:22:26 PM »
I'm going to reinforce what others have said on your other posts--many men are told NOT to pay support or visit until something is set through the Court, because whatever they pay and how often they visit could become permanent, even if it's more than or less than what would be ordered. Your baby is 4 months old, it's not like he is 6 and the father never visited. Even men who are WITH the child's mother sometimes need a while to adjust to having a baby and feeling comfortable taking care of the baby. Not everyone is born with the instinct to jump right in. Heck, even parents who have more than one child sometimes need that adjustment time. Not to mention that unless he has dealt with family court before, he probably has NO IDEA of his rights and assumes that you automatically get custody and that he couldn't stop you from taking the child out of the country.
As for child support, it's your child's right to have support from BOTH of his parents. And sorry to be blunt, but if you didn't want to deal with the cost of going to Court in the US, you shouldn't have move out of the US, especially before getting everything through the Court. Your son is a U.S. citizen, so Court will be in the US. What will you do if the father files in Court? You will have to be there for that. The speed that you made the decision and actually followed through with moving didn't give you time to think all this through. It seemed like a rash decision because you were upset with the father, but it's not something that should have been done without thinking of ALL the possibilities.


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