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Author Topic: how can i handle visits and threats from the father and his girlfriend?  (Read 3771 times)

aerial1990

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Hello I am needing some advice one a situation I am in. If you hcan please help me that would be great .. okay I'm 7months the dad of this baby I am carrying we are no longer together. He has  been here during my pregnancy. Would it be not right to have him in the delivery room?  He was also very controlling, has lots of angry problems and has put his hand on me during my first trimester. But I keep him informed about the baby until he sent me an email about how I should stop contacting him about this baby that he don't care what happens to it and that since it is apart of me he wouldn't know how to handle himself with that baby. That he moved on and is happy?. What can I do with this could I get some kind of custody with this information. And I have two other toddler boys their dad is welcome to see his kids until their bed time. Should I show the same respect to this baby I'm carrying to his dad. Whatever went on with me and him I don't take it out the kids and make them not see their dad. I want this baby to bond with his dad. But under the circumstance of his emails and texts him taking the infant out of my house wouldn't be appropriate. But I am willing for him to to do visits here at my house. So it wont be like I'm with holding him seeing the child.. what is a good ways to approach this matter. With me looking like I'm with holding the infant,or taking away his bonding time?  Could I get sole custody with the texts and emails that him and his girl sent me or at least supervised visits? Under threathing messages and texts towards the unborn baby and me.. Would he be able to take the infant overnight even through he isn't on the birth certificate? 


tigger

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Some questions:
1) is the father of your unborn child also the father of the toddler boys?
2) if so, why the different attitude towards this child?
3) what state are you in? States differ on their laws regarding custody of a newborn.

If the girlfriend or father are threatening you in writing, you need to take it to the police and get a restraining order.
The wonderful thing about tiggers is I'm the only one!

Kitty C.

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Tigger, it sounds like the two other boys have a different father.
 
Aerial, if the father of your unborn child states that he wants nothing to do with it, why would you want to force the child on him?  If the father doesn't want to see the baby, why would you think he'd want to be there in the delivery room?  All you can do is keep him informed of the pregnancy and birth.  Tell him when you are going to the hospital and when the baby is born.  And if he and his GF are threatening you in anyway, you should report it.  If there was physical abuse when he was with you, was it reported then?  There's a LOT of unknowns here.  If you're concerned about any legalities, contact an atty.
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......

aerial1990

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Thanks for your replies. But to answers your questions. The baby I'm carrying is by a different Guy.I am in Maryland. The reasons is why I ask about visits what I should do is because he hasn't always had a clear mind on what he wants one week he says he don't want nothing to do with the baby then two weeks he all in. I'm just trying to see where I can stand if this keeps up do I have any say so about the visits.. I can press charges on him but for MD u need all informations on the person whom your pressing charges on and I don't know his girlfriend information. The only reason why I still keep him informed so if we do go to court I can show them I did my part as best I can but if he choose not to follow through with the invites or come that would be on him. But it shows the court I have no problems with him

ocean

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Family court will not care what is happening to much now.
If you were never married to the father, most states you will be considered to have sole custody. If you do not want him at the hospital, you do not have to allow it. He will then have to petition the court for paternity and custody/visitation plan. He will eventually be allowed overnight visits with baby/toddler.

If you have texts or emails that are harassing, bring them to the police and say you want harassment charges against him/her. You can ask for an order of protection from family court so he can not come near you (or the new baby if he has threaten the baby). In the order, you can add the girlfriend, or she can have her own order of protection.

Treat him like a business deal attitude. If he texts/emails answer with the least amount of words as possible with no feelings "no , I did not have baby, I will call you after I deliver". Then ignore all other messages. You will have to deal with him for the next 18 years so... but at the same time you do not need him to be verbal abusive to you either.


aerial1990

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Thank you for your advice it is very helpful..

 

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