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Author Topic: Visitaton  (Read 4160 times)

lostnlonely

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Visitaton
« on: Nov 05, 2012, 04:01:57 PM »
O.k., wife left and file O.F.P. and then the state picked it up and charged me with D.V..Civil court threw our O.F.P. and finally criminal court dismissed case. Both courts said insufficient evidence, because there was no act of domestic violence. Wife filed for divorce and refuses to speak to me concerning our 2 children. The oldest, our daughter does not want to be with her mom. They have a very volatile relationship. I have not spent time with kids in over 3 months. My attorney has filed a motion for visitation and support but says it could 2 or 3 months before we get in front of a judge. In the mean time I am thinking of going to get our kids. There is no legal confounds preventing me from doing so. I haven't because I do not want to upset wife any more than she already is. The problem is she lets kids spend weekends at friends and they go everywhere but to spend time with me, their father. What do you say about me forcing a time sharing schedule, knowing what her reaction is going to be.


ocean

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Re: Visitaton
« Reply #1 on: Nov 05, 2012, 05:03:09 PM »
Not a good idea. You can go to kids activities, school events, meet with teachers, go to dance lessons or soccer games. That is a public place and you can be there. If you go to her house, she will then get another RO against you. If you kids are older, so they have cell phones you can text, facebook accounts?
Does your wife have a lawyer? Ask for temp schedule to see kids until court. Send her and lawyer a certified letter asking for some visitation before court, offer days and times to choose from or ask when is a good time. Take anything offered.

If you go anywhere to see  kids, bring someone as a witness and at least audio tape what is happening. If someone have video that is even better so you wont be arrested. Activities, wave to your kids, sit on other side of ex and ignore her. You are there to see kids.

Davy

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Re: Visitaton
« Reply #2 on: Nov 05, 2012, 07:48:30 PM »
Really !
 
Your children are being abused and neglected when the children do not have access to both parents.  Quite frankly, I know not one person that would agree with children being without from a parent (without credible reason).
 
More than likely your attorney wants you to abide by the status quo in order for the entire system to gain financially.  False and exaggerated accusations are common practice so, in a sense, you are already winning while the opposition is showing themself to be inept as a parent.  You may be surpeised to learn that the children are more at risk than you could have ever imagined. 
 
You may consider seeking/finding a "rule of law" non-custody type attorney from outside the "good ole boy" system that will actually proceed for the well-being of the children and you.
 
Dad, you are very much the children's voice so function likewise, be cool, and stay focused on the children in all ways.

lostnlonely

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Re: Visitaton
« Reply #3 on: Nov 05, 2012, 09:27:04 PM »
There is no restraining orders or anything. She has moved into a house and she doesn't think I know where they have moved to. She is doing everything to keep me from kids. It has been 3 months since I have spent time with them. I am planning on picking them up from school this week and keeping them until Tuesday. I know she will get angry but she refuses to establish a visitation schedule. Her attorney has recommended a counselor and yet she refuses to sit down at the same time to discuss our kids with counselor. She says she can't do that. I know she is hurting(there has been marital problems) but the children should not be in the middle. They want to spend time with me. I hope by picking them up without her permission it doesn't cause me any problems.

ocean

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Re: Visitaton
« Reply #4 on: Nov 06, 2012, 06:13:13 AM »
She will/can get another restraining order if you do that and this time it will probably stay since it has been 3 months without seeing them. Send the letter to her new address requesting time with the kids, see if lawyer can get you a temp schedule at the first hearing. Are the kids going to a counselor? See if their school has anything coming up that you can go to, or if they allow parent helpers inside the classroom or to help out in the building. Remember the kids have not seen you in 3 months (have you had any contact)? How old are they? You will be putting them in the middle by pulling them out from school, and having the police be called.
Good luck.


lostnlonely

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Re: Visitaton
« Reply #5 on: Nov 06, 2012, 02:20:11 PM »
I am in contact with both children, ages 14 and 9. They want to spend time with me. The mother just refuses. While there was a no contact order in place her stance was we needed a 3rd party to pick up and return kids, which she never would allow. Now that all charges and no contact order is gone she says to the kids your dad has to talk to my attorney. We all know how well that works. I have reached out to attorney and she refuses to speak to me. Now that I have an attorney I can't. My attorney has filed motions but this can take months. He said we will force a visitation if they are unwilling to communicate. I have tried everything, sending emails, texts and even mutual friends have tried to speak to her about this. Yes, we have a counselor for the kids and she will not even sit down with me and the counselor. Mom and daughter do not get along at all. I feel my only option is to pick kids up and call her to let her know. Not exactly how I want to do it, but she is giving me no options. I miss our kids and they are missing me. I'm just ready to spend some real time with them.

ocean

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Re: Visitaton
« Reply #6 on: Nov 06, 2012, 05:38:56 PM »
Ask the counselor when their next session is and ask if you can show up and be a part of the next session? Was she given temporary custody?
I would think she "warned" the kids school but you can make them release to you if there are no temp or court orders yet. They may call her while you are standing there and you will have to deal with the police and who they will be released to. The police will probably tell you to take it to family court as most times they do not get involved.
Since you have some contact with the counselor, see if they will be your middle man and suggest the kids go to you this weekend from school so you do not see each other...and you can return them to school.

May get very ugly, so you may want to try and call the local police and ask "what would happen if you got a call at school..".

lostnlonely

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Re: Visitaton
« Reply #7 on: Nov 06, 2012, 10:05:43 PM »
The counselor is wanting me to wait until wife and her attorney is on board. Kids are ready to come see me. The oldest who is 14 is most definitely ready to. Called the police dept today and they said since there is no court order they will not get involved. Wife is not willing to allow anyone to be the middle man. She is being totally irrational and controlling. Only option I have if I want to spend time with them, is to pick them up then let her know. Not how I want to do it but she just will not give me any other option. Again, there are no court orders, no visitation schedules, nothing...This is just absurd that someone you have known and the mother of your kids would stoop to these lows.

ocean

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Re: Visitaton
« Reply #8 on: Nov 09, 2012, 05:15:49 PM »
Did you get them from school today? How did it go?
Maybe write kids letters each week and give to therapist to give to them? Maybe they can write you back through the therapist.

 

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