House lockout update

[CDAN99]

Had to call the police since I am being locked out of our home. Police said that this is a civil matter and there isn't anything they can do. They recommend that I hire an attorney. Unfreaking real.

[MixedBag]

yep.  They only enforce criminal laws.

OK, playing bad guy here....what would happen if the opposite happened...

Break into your home, change the locks....etc.  And then tell her you're not leaving (and do this with a witness present.) ?

AND hand her the bill for what you had to do.

[CDAN99]

That wouldn't work. The police already know I don't have access to my own house.  I'm sure I would be charged with something if I did that.

[tigger]

Whose name is on the deed?  Or the lease if it's rented?

[Kitty C.]

If your name is on the deed, they cannot charge you with breaking into your own property.  If that were the case, they'd be charging every person who's ever locked themselves out of their home and had to force their way in!

[CDAN99]

House is owned by the both of us. Problem is that I have been forced out for a few weeks already and I was allowed some of my personal belongings. Cop said to me that he doesn't want to see anything more happening in this case. It's already on record.

[MixedBag]

so what.....make sure you have a witness.....(probably take in a temporary room mate on the couch of the same sex), and file with the courts asking HER to move out -- or a temporary order making her responsible for all the bills because you're moving out.)

OR address this in court later and ask that everything you've paid so far be considered alimony and that it be stopped and not your responsiblity.

No kids, right?

[tigger]

What the cop wants and what's within your rights may be two different things.  What state are you in?  Read up on the statutes relevant to your situation.

[ocean]

Go back to police station and talk to a supervisor. Bring evidence that it is our house too. You want access to your house with an officer as it is your right.
BUT, if there are no kids, this is headed for a divorce. Get a police report that you tried to go back home and she is not allowing you. File for divorce and be done.
Close all accounts in your name (credit cards, utilities, bank accounts). Call them all , see if they will take your name off card, if not tell them to close the account and send you a final bill. You will deal with those in divorce court.
If you have any savings account/checking account take out half, take your name off. Open new accounts in your name. If she does not let you live in house, text her that the bills in your name has been closed.
Talk to a lawyer about sending an official letter to her that since she has not allowed you back in the home, that all bills from XX date will be her responsibility.

[CDAN99]

She finally agreed to have a talk about this in a couple of days. Hoping she will have a change of heart so that I am not living out of a box by this weekend. I think I am better trying this first. I am not looking for confrontation and she may just started to realize this if I'm lucky. Wish me luck on Thursday

[ocean]

Just be careful...my first instinct is she will have someone there to serve you papers that day. If she really is meeting you, take your cell phone and have it record on loud in your pocket. At the very least you will have a recording of what went on.
Meet at a public open place. McDonald's?
Hopefully you can both agree to live under the same roof until you sell the house or one buys the other out.

[CDAN99]

yes we are trying to agree to place like DD but I don't think she is trying to serve me. Deep down I know she will want to end things uncontested, that I am sure of and that is what people close to her say. She is just having some sort of mid-life crisis right now and has someone giving her the wrong advice. I know her as a better person than how she's acting. It's like her values somehow changed with a flip of the switch. Hopefully I will find out more in a couple of days.

[MixedBag]

good luck!   

[CDAN99]

Too late, just got served today. Everything was used as a delay. Don't know why other people like to take advantage of a person's kindness towards them. Lesson learned. Just can't trust anyone anymore, I suppose.