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Author Topic: Move out or file separation first  (Read 2886 times)


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Move out or file separation first
« on: May 27, 2014, 10:26:12 AM »
I informed my wife about my desire to end relationship and that I'm going to start separation process. I suggested that we sit down and try to sort at least some issues with kids, since we have 3 (2 of them are in custodial age.) She refused to talk and believes I'm pressing her to try to negotiate things as we are still in the marriage.  I took a copy of all documents and signed for single parents class.  I found a sublet for 3 months till Sept 1, when new school year starts. Is it right to move there and file separation paperwork after that, or it is better to file, while we are still physically under the same roof. I afraid that the latter could be risky, since my wife is emotionally unstable and had cases of past domestic violence w.r.t. me and our older child. Since sublet is temporary, I have my full intent to get at least 50% of the custody and try to get to arrangements for new school year. Any advice is appreciated     


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Re: Move out or file separation first
« Reply #1 on: May 27, 2014, 11:01:54 AM »
Generally the advice you would be given is not to remove yourself from the marital home.  However, in NC you can't file separation papers until you are, in fact, separated.  Contradiction. 
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Re: Move out or file separation first
« Reply #2 on: May 27, 2014, 01:13:49 PM »
stay put.


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Re: Move out or file separation first
« Reply #3 on: May 27, 2014, 04:11:29 PM »
Yup, send her to the sublet..LOL
But really, stay there if you want the 50/50 placement. Sounds like the kids are old enough to have a say. Get proof of domestic violence...police reports? medical reports? hospital stays?
Go see a lawyer in your area, many will see you for free for first hour or small fee that they will put towards retainer if you hire them. Worth the $100 if they charge you but make sure it is a father rights lawyer.

Ask her if she will go to a mediator and they will write up the custody paperwork and file with courts. Ask her to put in writing what she wants regarding visitation/custody, vacations, holidays, summers, child support, and outstanding bills.

Can she afford to stay in house without you?


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