Here only in divorce can you ask for lawyer fees. Family court you can ask for a contempt of court case. But for a regular family court (changes, modifications,
child support) you have to qualify for free legal service. Most do not qualify as it is a very low income to be eligible.
Legally, you can always represent yourself. We have many times and have won against ex's lawyer. Judges will give you some leeway when representing yourself. Just say, I can not afford a lawyer or qualify for legal aid and will be representing myself. Not sure why you say you will default, just negotiate with his lawyer in hall or go in and talk to judge.