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Author Topic: Just looking for options  (Read 2427 times)

noncustodialdad1981

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Just looking for options
« on: Aug 31, 2015, 09:29:49 AM »
   In 2005 my live in girlfriend and I had our first child. In 2008 we had a second child. Our two boys were born and raised in Texas up until 2014. In 2012 we separated. We were never married so we didn't file for a divorce. She found a new relationship and remarried. She has now moved to Hawaii with our kids and her new husband, because I had no "geographical restriction" clause set up in my initial order. I live in Texas. I was able to at least talk her into letting the boys stay to finish out the school year. So the boys stayed with me from Oct 2013 to April 2014. She came to pick up the boys in April last year and moved them to Hawaii.
   I miss my boys dearly. This has been a trying time for me. I haven't seen my kids since they left. Their mom and I have a good relationship and she does let me talk to the boys almost any time I would like, but I haven't seen them in over a year. I am not in the best position financially and am taking steps to fix that. I am going back to school and am one year away from graduating. With having to work low paying jobs and pay child support (which I am current) it's extremely difficult to pay for airfare for the boys to fly back and forth. Initially we verbally agreed that we would split the costs. I was okay with that until summer came this year and I was given the option to pay to have the boys come home to visit for the summer. I didn't have the money so I was not able to see them. Both our boys and I were devestated.
   My order was set up in 2008 in Texas and has recently been transferred to Hawaii. I have not consulted with an attorney because I am not able to afford one. I am not a bad father. I just want to see that I am very much a part of our boys life as they grow up. Putting that kind of distance between us has severely compromised the relationship I have had between our kids.
   My questions are ...
   •What options, if any do I have to be able to see my kids?
   • because of the situation I am in financially, am I just supposed to tough it out until I finish school, find a better job, so that then I will be able to afford the airfare and an attorney?
   I am just lost. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.


MixedBag

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Re: Just looking for options
« Reply #1 on: Aug 31, 2015, 11:25:26 AM »
oh dear...

My first question is how she managed to get it moved to Hawaii -- if you're still in Texas?  probably a mute point right now.

What's spelled out in terms of time with your kids in the order?

OR is it only one sided and addresses Child Support and not the other part which is parenting time?

YES, you're probably gonna have to file in the Hawaiian courts to established defined time with your kids and in that ask that SHE pay for all transportation since she moved and basically (If I'm catching this right) went back on the verbal agreement that she will pay half.

IF it's not in an order.....yep, can't get something enforced.

Skyping with your kids can also be defined -- so that in the long run, she can't cut that off.  She can be ordered to make it available on her end.

There are some parenting plans here at the site -- take a good look at them.


noncustodialdad1981

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Re: Just looking for options
« Reply #2 on: Aug 31, 2015, 12:47:15 PM »
Thank You Mixed Bag....

I am not sure how she was able to get the cased moved. I am sure it was something that was either done when she updated her new address with the attorney general or she intentionally did it without my consent. I would like to think it was the first thing.

I have a "standard" order as laid out by the State of Texas. Some of the bullet points include...
*6pm every first, third, and fifth friday of the month.
*Thursdays during the school year from 6pm-8pm.
*even numbered years for Spring Vacation.
*Summer vacations are mine unless notified by April 15th by her in letter.
*Every other year for holidays etc...

So now that I have terms in my order as to what my visitation rights are, would I have to file a petition to modify my court order in Hawaii?
Would I have to go to Hawaii to do all of this? Is this something that can be done from Texas?

Again, thank you fro your response.


ocean

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Re: Just looking for options
« Reply #3 on: Aug 31, 2015, 01:12:09 PM »
1. what did you get from Hawaii stating they are taking over the case? It may be just that TX is collecting child support and giving it to Hawaii and not that the case was transferred.

2. Go to family court near you and state you want to file for modification of visitation due to the mother leaving, you are asking for a long distance parenting plan and that the mother pay for transportation as she is the one that moved (or you may be able to get a credit to your child support if you pay the transportation). See if TX takes case as Hawaii should NOT have case as you are still in the state. It may be cheaper for you to fly there certain times to buy one ticket and the summer visits they come to you.

noncustodialdad1981

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Re: Just looking for options
« Reply #4 on: Aug 31, 2015, 02:35:36 PM »
1. what did you get from Hawaii stating they are taking over the case? It may be just that TX is collecting child support and giving it to Hawaii and not that the case was transferred.

2. Go to family court near you and state you want to file for modification of visitation due to the mother leaving, you are asking for a long distance parenting plan and that the mother pay for transportation as she is the one that moved (or you may be able to get a credit to your child support if you pay the transportation). See if TX takes case as Hawaii should NOT have case as you are still in the state. It may be cheaper for you to fly there certain times to buy one ticket and the summer visits they come to you.


Thank you Ocean.

1. I believe you are absolutely spot on. I am paying child support and I received a letter from Hawaii stating that my payments will now be going through them. No specific line stating that my case was transferred.

2. I am researching this as we speak and trying to get in touch with someone. Thank you for the advice on the airfare. I have been trying to come up with creative solutions. The only challenge is right now I am working two jobs and going to school so time off or any extra funds for trips are difficult to come by.

Thank You for the input. 


Davy

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Re: Just looking for options
« Reply #5 on: Aug 31, 2015, 05:22:49 PM »
Hey Dad  !  Fathers for Equal Rights (or fathers4kids) in Texas should be an excellent resource for information and perhaps legal assistance.  I think there are chapters in Dallas (214-953-2233), Ft Worth, Houston and maybe San Anton.  Use google or another search engine. 
 
The archive files on this site provide a wealth of information as well.  Much, if not all of that site has originated from ordinary folks that have been there and done that.   
 
It is important for Texas to maintain jurisdiction of all issues concerning your children as well as you and the mother.  That will be case as long as you remain a resident.  You should never file or respond to another state's legal action concerning the children. 
 
Hope you continue to post on this site.  Best to you and the boys and the mother.  Hang in there !!!

MixedBag

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Re: Just looking for options
« Reply #6 on: Sep 01, 2015, 05:52:07 AM »
I totally agree with Ocean....start with the clerk where your case was initially and pull the file.

Thankfully you have some parenting time outlined now.....so you have a "Significant Change in Circumstances" thanks to mother's move, to ask for a new court order outlining a different plan for the kids to spend time with you.

READ and FIND the parenting plans here....think outside the box and with new technology (Skyping and E-mails) so that you get every detail in writing.  You may even post your draft thoughts here (with no names)....and we'll assist.

All three of my situations (my EX#1, EX#2, and EX#'s EX) were long distance -- but older now....but still.

 

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