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Author Topic: No idea where my kids are living!  (Read 3468 times)

RamSport1

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No idea where my kids are living!
« on: Dec 07, 2015, 09:21:44 AM »
Greetings all. New here and need help and advice. I am a 55 year old father of two, my son is 6, daughter 4. Divorced last summer, my ex is 20 years younger than I. I reluctantly allowed, after her sales pitch, for her to move with the children, she has 4, back to the St Paul Minnesota area where she was from. I am in Illinois and the drive was 7 hours one way to pick up my children for visitation.

The last time I had them was October 18, a 4 day weekend off school, and when I dropped them back off with their mother, she informed me she was searching for a job in Colorado. I said nothing at the time and after returning home went to my attorney and informed him of her possible intentions. I was informed to send her a letter of non-consent to move the children out of the state of MN. Did so, never heard a word after that and assumed (I know, never assume anything) she had dropped her plan to move to CO.

Well, I received an email from my ex early November simply stating "We have moved" along with an address in Colorado and my sons new school address. Immediately went to the attorney, and after going over options he filed what is called a "Rule for Petition to Show Just Cause" which supposedly requires her to appear in court and answer to a Judge with reasons why she moved the children to Colorado, she would be served the papers in Colorado and have to appear in Illinois.

Unfortunately the address she provided is not the physical address for the children, evidently a relatives address where mail can be sent. I don't think she has been served. I don't have unlimited funds and can't afford to hire a P.I. in Colorado to search for the physical address, nor do I have time to run out to CO and do my own investigative work, probably not a good idea anyway. 

Any ideas/resources on how I can find out exactly where my children are living out there so we can get her served? Thanks for any advice.


tigger

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Re: No idea where my kids are living!
« Reply #1 on: Dec 07, 2015, 09:46:21 AM »
Get a copy of the emergency contact for the children from their school.  It may have her home address, home number (unless it's a cell) and a work number.  Also, it would be very telling in terms of who all is listed as emergency contact and what she lists their relationship to the children as. 
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MixedBag

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Re: No idea where my kids are living!
« Reply #2 on: Dec 08, 2015, 06:44:31 AM »
What Tigger said -- and if it's the same address that you have that's NOT hers -- I'd almost be inclined to let the school know that too, but that tips your hand that you're looking for her.

Facebook too -- use facebook to follow her family and her for pictures and clues as to where she is living.  Used that technique again just yesterday to find someone and the dummy had his page wide open and so did his girlfriend.  Bingo, now I know where to find you.

RamSport1

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Re: No idea where my kids are living!
« Reply #3 on: Dec 08, 2015, 02:50:53 PM »
Thanks very much for the replies. Called the school yesterday, as I guessed they would give me no information over the phone, told they have never had this type of situation before and would have to have my attorney contact the districts legal department. Great, more $ to the attorney. Great idea on the Facebook thing, found out she has disabled her account. She is evidently covering as many bases as possible. She won't answer her cellphone either, goes straight to voicemail, so that may be in the process of being changed as well.  Her email is still up but I get no reply. I have been keeping the emails I send for my attorney. Looks like a trip to CO may be needed.

Waylon

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Re: No idea where my kids are living!
« Reply #4 on: Dec 08, 2015, 06:43:12 PM »
Look into the FERPA letters, as they are very effective at getting information from schools:

http://deltabravo.net/cms/search.php?q=ferpa&s=Search&r=0





Thanks very much for the replies. Called the school yesterday, as I guessed they would give me no information over the phone, told they have never had this type of situation before and would have to have my attorney contact the districts legal department. Great, more $ to the attorney. Great idea on the Facebook thing, found out she has disabled her account. She is evidently covering as many bases as possible. She won't answer her cellphone either, goes straight to voicemail, so that may be in the process of being changed as well.  Her email is still up but I get no reply. I have been keeping the emails I send for my attorney. Looks like a trip to CO may be needed.
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MixedBag

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Re: No idea where my kids are living!
« Reply #5 on: Dec 08, 2015, 07:32:23 PM »
I agree with Waylon....

BUT think about it too from their end.  How do they know who you really are and stuff too? 

YES, send them a certified letter with a copy of the decree stating that you have joint custody.

Also wondering if you should file something in family court -- has she violated any times that the child is supposed to spend with you?  that would be reason for contempt.

RamSport1

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Re: No idea where my kids are living!
« Reply #6 on: Dec 09, 2015, 01:42:18 PM »
Thanks much Waylon for the Ferpa information.
Have an appointment with the attorney Friday to go over options for verifying my childs enrollment, and will mention to him about the Ferpa letters, in case he is not already aware.

Yeah MixedB I figured the school would not give any information, and do understand why. I checked out the schools website for a monthly calendar and they didn't have a monthly schedule posted, was checking for any long weekends and such to be able to schedule visitation times with the mom if I can establish communication. Even being in Minnesota it was hard to schedule times for visitation during the school year, due to the drive time involved for only a two day weekend, and the fact I work Saturdays and have to take time off of work, it was then hard to schedule time.

The mom has not purposely violated visitation time and has never violated my visitation right, and was always willing to work with me when I wanted them more or could not get them on a certain weekend last summer due to my work schedule. However illegally moving them further away puts even more excessive hardship on me to schedule times to see them, instead of 7 hours away, now 14+, I suppose that could be considered a violation. Even if I could depend on her to meet half way, which I don't think I can. Right now I am in the dark, no communication and so far away, not knowing the living conditions and environment the children are in. Googled the address I was given and it is a trailer court, and that is all I know and it's driving me nuts.
Thanks again for the info.

MixedBag

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Re: No idea where my kids are living!
« Reply #7 on: Dec 09, 2015, 04:16:27 PM »
What does your order say specifically about your child having time with you?  Because normally with the holidays coming up.....that's defined.

My son lived a 12-hour drive one way during those years.....so I get that part.  at a lot of hot dogs and beans and oodles of noodles to make the budget stretch and it stunk but worth it in the end.

MixedBag

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Re: No idea where my kids are living!
« Reply #8 on: Dec 09, 2015, 04:17:26 PM »
trailer court?  potentially with an office to manage renting all the trailers or lots out?  Keep digging.

Kitty C.

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Re: No idea where my kids are living!
« Reply #9 on: Dec 10, 2015, 11:14:28 AM »
Whether she owns or rents a trailer, she still has to pay lot rent.  The court management may or may not be able to give out any identifying info.  But you won't know unless you ask.   :)
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RamSport1

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Re: No idea where my kids are living!
« Reply #10 on: Dec 14, 2015, 11:38:10 AM »
Thanks much for all the help everyone.
Update-She has been served. Evidently the Sheriffs Deputies out there know what they are doing. Finally received an email (likely after they found her) with the proper address.

Thanks again for having this forum available, the advice and links to information have been a massive help to me!

 

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