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Author Topic: Having doubts about the result of mediation  (Read 1165 times)

Helpless16

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Having doubts about the result of mediation
« on: Sep 07, 2016, 11:42:01 AM »
My husband and I just went through the mediation process to avoid a trail that could possibly end his relationship with his child. We are having a hard time after the fact wondering if we have made the right decision but also dealing with the new financial burden this going to out on us. The action that was brought against us was TPR or termination of parental rights. My husband had been through a bad divorce at a very young age.

They had one child. He did not know a lot of things about the legal system and what he could have. He also did not have the money or support system to help him in a nasty fight. So he did the best thing he could agree to what he was offered. That was ok for a little while however things started off bad right out of the gate. He is ex was filing right to show cause for child support that was not even a month late. He was working construction right around the time the market crashed.

Their child was small. Over time he had to find a new job and was forced to depend on his family with picking up and dropping off because his new job was not close to her. But he tried to make it to His weekends. Over time this became harder as his new on became not demanding also the people he depended on stopped helping. My husband lack of knowledge about the system was played upon by his ex and he went a period of about a year and half without seeing or talking to his child. He admits that was his failing not being strong enough to stay in the fight. He also did not have the finiacial means.

When we got together he asked me a lot of questions and I answered them. He decided he wanted to try to right his mistakes. His ex of course was not receptive and stated that their child who is under 12 did not want to see him. His ex lead him to believe she was helping and wanted him to have a relationship with their child. However that came to end and she sued him. During the process she has drug it out. Drove up the legal fees by denying everything and delaying in scheduling mediation.

We had limited funds and had taped out and we're trying to come up with the money, that was our delay. We finally worked out something with our attorney and could start that process. During the discovery process we finally had some proof that she had been alienating the child since she was under 4. We thought mediation would be ok. I won't go through all of the offers but I will tell you what we got. The TPR was dismissed that was the one good thing.

However, the reunification counseling could not start until the child's counselor stated it could. The child does have to stay in continuous counseling until the reunification counseling is complemented. We did get a third party to facilitate the reconnection process however. We have to pay for reunification counseling and half of the child's counseling 500 of her legal fees all of our legal fees and all of our personal counseling. There is to be no contact between father and child until one or both counsellors say he can talk when and etc. there is not start date on when the reconnection counseling can begin.

No time frame on how long the child will need to be in  counseling. Our fear is that his ex is going to manuiplate the counseling process. The two counsellors do have to speak and work together. As long as he follows the remommedations and attends counseling he is ok. But he is worried about the other side. The financial aspect is we owe over 3k to our attorney now we are going have to pay over 100 per hour to one counselor and half of how much the child's counselor is and my husband does not have ins.

His ex does but there is supposedly a high deductible We just are scared that we got railroaded. My husband has stood up and taken. Repsonisblitly for his part we just feel like he was the only one to doand no one looked at what she had done to push him there.


MixedBag

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Re: Having doubts about the result of mediation
« Reply #1 on: Sep 09, 2016, 06:08:37 PM »
Read Divorce Poison -- found on Amazon.....I think this will help shed some light on the psychological aspect of what's happening and some ideas to turn that around.

 

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