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Author Topic: Where do I turn now.  (Read 1251 times)


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Where do I turn now.
« on: Mar 23, 2004, 01:59:39 PM »
A week ago, my daughter was born. At least i think she is my daughter I am not really sure anymore. My family has been sure she is not since the time I announced she was pregnant. So I thought to stop any negative feelings towards this pregnancy, I would just get a DNA test to prove i am the father, which I set as soon as I knew she came into the world (no the mother would not allow me to be a part of the birth, instead opted for the new guy in her life). The DNA test caused some really emotional outbursts from her.
   She pleaded with me to stop pursuing them, that they made her feel like I was calling her a whore. but for my daughters future, I did not, I will not allow her life to be over shadowed by questions like that. So she pleaded with me, even offered to deny support and let me out of the parentage completely if i just stop pursuing the test.
   Then 4 days after her birth, I came for a visit (only my second one, which i limit to 30 minutes because they are still recovering) she told me that i would have to get a court order to have the DNA test, and I am no longer allowed to see her, unless i either stop pursuing the DNA test, or I get everything ordered through a court.
  Yes i am pursuing legal counseling, I am filing the paper work. But it is killing me I am on the outside right now, I no longer can say yes I am the father, more importantly I can not see her. Yes, i have stopped paying support, legally I do not have to until parentage is established. Anyone have any idea of what else I could be doing? Anyone have any advice?

Kitty C.

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RE: Where do I turn now.
« Reply #1 on: Mar 23, 2004, 02:02:13 PM »
You're doing everything right and everything that you need to be doing.  Since you were never married, you MUST get a DNA test to prove parentage.  And don't fall for that BS that she won't come after you for CS, because she can do it ANY TIME after the child is born. In some states even after the child has reached the age of majority, then you'd be THOUSANDS of dollars in arrears.

Get the atty., get the test, and get the CO to obtain the test if you have to, but get it done.  If she still bitches about it, tell her nothing but positive proof that you are NOT the father will keep you away.

I can read the emotion in your words and I have a feeling that you will be devastated if the test comes back negative, but that's something you MUST seriously consider.  And if it is negative, you will have to walk away.  You will have no legal or biological ties to that child.........and won't have to put up with that sorry excuse for a mother either.
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......


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RE: Where do I turn now.
« Reply #2 on: Mar 23, 2004, 03:36:25 PM »
Tips For Getting Started

How To Hire An Attorney

Hiring An Effective Attorney

Success Factors In Obtaining Custody


One of the first things you'll hear around here is "Document, document, document!". Having good records is *crucial*. Get yourself either the Parenting Time Tracker (PTT) at: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tracker.htm or the OPTIMAL Custody Tracking service at: http://www.parentingtime.net. The PTT is good, but the OPTIMAL service is definitely better.


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