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Author Topic: whatever happened to someone upholding the law?  (Read 3755 times)

the wolfie one

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whatever happened to someone upholding the law?
« on: Jun 02, 2004, 05:30:50 PM »
I am new here, and could use guidance.  I am a divorced father with joint custody of my 14 year old son.  I live in wisconsin.  In my divorce decree it states, the nonprimary parent shall have liberal and flexible visitation.  I know that most people reading this will cringe at reading that statement, but the court let it slip through and now i am having a problem with my visitation.  This statement ended up in the divorce decree because I went pro-se in my divorce and the pro-se
 "professional" tended to favor the woman in her writing of the legal papers. (I know that isn't supposed to happen, but believe me it did.)
Now a year and a half after the final decree, and two and a half years after the original stipulation, which are the same, I am being refused the right to see my son.  In the state of Wisconsin, it is a Class C felony to refuse court ordered visitation.  When I went to the Family Court Commissioner, they told me I had to go through mediation, which I did.
We could not work out anything in mediation, so the mediator told me my only recourse was to take my ex-wife back to court.  While leaving the mediation, I picked up the papers to file on my ex-wife. This will take over two weeks before I can even have a court date. In the mean time I am being denied my visitation rights.  As an attempt to try to see my son, I went to the DA and pointed the statute (copied directly in my final divorce papers).  The DA's office told me that it was a civil matter.
I pointed out that it was a Class C felony and that was a criminal matter.
They gave me the standard line, that i should get a private attorney.
I told them that a private attorney couldn't file charges in a criminal matter any more than I could.  They told me to take it up with the local police.  Since I live in one jurisdiction (which is where the divorce decree was issued) and my ex-wife resides in another, I took my next step to the police in the city in which I live.  Their response was that I would have to take it up with the police in the city that my ex-wife is in.
I am sure that they will tell me they have no jurisdiction in the matter because it is from a court outside of their county.  
To make a long story short, where does a father in my position go to have the law upheld and my visitation right honored?  Why would a state make a law, that no one can enforce?   This is EXTREMELY frustrating.  Am I alone in this , or are there others out there having this same type of frustration?   Please let me know!!!!

the wolfie one


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RE: whatever happened to someone upholding the law?
« Reply #1 on: Jun 02, 2004, 08:22:00 PM »
well since your court doesnt speficy visitation dates, I suggest you write a intent to exercise your visitation to your ex certified return receipt. I am not sure where you can get the basic letter some one will inform you here.

Document document document everything, everytime you are denied etc.
If you go to pick up child call 911, and have them file a report.

TM has a lot of legal stuff that will help, hopefully she will post them for you.


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« Reply #2 on: Jun 03, 2004, 10:31:16 AM »

you have to be specific on these issues...right down to the color of the underwear that you child is to wear during your visitation.

If you're dealing with an uncooperative custodial parent, you can't leave it up to their good heart to do the right thing.  You can't trust anyone but yourself.  

While you're at it with contempt, have a motion for specifics in parenting time.  Strike while the iron is hot and the judge will be annoyed at her (in theory) for denying visitations.  And make sure in your motion, you ask for your attorney fees and out of pocket for having to bring the motion.

Wisconsin Mom

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My DH is in a very similar situation right now.
« Reply #3 on: Jun 03, 2004, 04:48:01 PM »
Would it be possible for you to post the statute that states that denying visitation is a Class C felony?  And share what county you went to mediation in?

We are dealing 3 counties (ours, theirs and where the order was entered) and none of the individual local authorities want anything to do with it.

SD (step-daughter, --you're new here) is 14 years old.

Have you considered contacting your state representative?  A while back, DH(dear husband) was having the problem of two counties trying to collect child support on the same order.  Our attorney just told DH not to worry about it (wage garnished in one county--ignored the other county).  Well, he got a letter one day regarding a tax intercept and could get nothing straightened out until he threatened to contact our state rep. And then some how things all got straightened out.


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RE: whatever happened to someone upholding the law?
« Reply #4 on: Jun 03, 2004, 09:02:09 PM »
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tracker.htm Parenting Time Tracker Software

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/mail.htm Tips On Using Certified Mail

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/intent.htm Intent Of Visitation Letter

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/missed-visit.htm Denial Of Visitation Letter

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/sickvisit.htm Visitation Denial Due To Sickness

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/hiring.htm How To Hire An Attorney

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/effective.htm Hiring An Effective Attorney

http://www.legis.state.wi.us/assembly/asmhomepages.html Wisconsin State Representative Home Page

http://www.legis.state.wi.us/rsb/Statutes.html  Wisconsin Statutes (Look Under Title "The Family")

Hope those help...



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RE: calification of court order
« Reply #5 on: Jun 04, 2004, 11:22:22 AM »
Can you file a motion for "a clarification of the order". Stipulating your visitation times. Request a standard EOW and Wednesdays?


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RE: In Wisconsin too.....
« Reply #6 on: Jun 04, 2004, 01:41:27 PM »
DH(darling Hubby) and I are also in WI.  We just went through this as well.

We did mediation and ended up taking he to court also.  With the same vague visitation language.

Please Please visit   http://www.wisconsinfathers.org

They were an absolute lifesaver as was this site.

We filled out a parenting plan, and did win on several points even though we went Pro Se and Psychomommy had an attorney.

Because you have no specific times there is no violation of the law.


And one more thing   wisconsin is a one-party state.   You can record ALL conversations with her without saying anythign to her.  The attorney we intially consulted with told this was a MUST-DO!!

If you need anything  our e-mail is    meinmntn@yahoo.com

We had to deal with Oconto and Outagamie counties.
Even without strict times in the order  Outagamie filed a complaint for us.
The DA wouldn't prosecute but at least we had the police report!!

the wolfie one

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RE: My DH is in a very similar situation right now.
« Reply #7 on: Jun 05, 2004, 06:19:55 PM »

thanks for you imput.  The wisconsin state statute is Section 767.242.
I hope that helps you

the wolfie one

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RE: calification of court order
« Reply #8 on: Jun 05, 2004, 06:26:57 PM »
I went one step further.  I have filed court papers to attempt to get my son on a permanent basis with supervised and limited visitation for my ex

the wolfie one

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RE: agree
« Reply #9 on: Jun 05, 2004, 06:29:35 PM »
I thank you for your input.  I have filed papers with the family court to try to get my son on a permanent basis.  thanks


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