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Author Topic: also posted on child custody.... Sorry I am new at this  (Read 2547 times)


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also posted on child custody.... Sorry I am new at this
« on: Jun 28, 2004, 12:55:09 PM »
#2046, "We have no way to contact child during CP's visitation...Please help"

           What is the name of your state?AZ

The NCP (my fiance) with 50/50 visitation and the CP agreed to a one time change of visitation for us to take child on vacation out of state. The agreement is in writing and filed with the Court. The problem is in order to do the vacation the schedule had to change to Cp has child from June 27 through July 11 then NCP has child July 11 thru July 25. That's two weeks. Normally this wouldn't be a problem. Yesterday we went to meet CP for drop-off (about 2 hours for each party) the meeting time is 2PM the order states that if either party is more than 30 minutes late without a phone call than visitation is forfeited. Well CP was an hour late with no phone call, we tried calling her but her phone is disconnected. My fiance was calling CP's mom when CP finally showed up. The problem is she has the child even though "legally" NCP could have turned around at 2:30 PM and taken the child back to his home, the child is almost five and understands that mommy comes to get her. In other words we thought it was in child's best interest to wait and not have to explain. Anyway NCP has no way to contact the child for the next two weeks. He called CP's Mom and set up a call time at the CP's moms house and hopefully she will be there but she has been having a lot of problems with her bf (I mean the CP) with domestic violence etc. Any way NCP is very worried about both CP and his child and not being able to get a hold of her is really weighing on him. CP withheld visitation from him when he did not have a phone and the Court backed her up. Problem is CP had no problem doing that in front of the child. NCP does not want child to see him keep the child from CP.

Sorry so long I guess my question is
1. Is there something we can file with the court to make CP get a phone and until a phone is installed/signed up for child shall be returned to NCP?
2. Any other ideas. CP at one point was a flight risk, not sure how much so now, but NCP is worried 2 weeks without being able to contact his daughter would give a serious head start????

 Court order states that each party shall have reasonable unrestricted telephone access to child during other parties visitation.

3. Can we file contempt?


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RE: also posted on child custody.... Sorry I am new at this
« Reply #1 on: Jun 28, 2004, 04:20:00 PM »
Technically, yes you can file contempt. You have NO phone access.

On the issues of DV, personally, I would call the police with a concern for child welfare.


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RE: also posted on child custody.... Sorry I am new at this
« Reply #2 on: Jun 29, 2004, 07:00:00 PM »
What we are worried about is looking petty. we fought long and hard (and honest I think that's why it took so long) to get the 50/50 visitation. Do you think that contempt would look petty? What we really NEED is to know she is safe. CP Mom isn't to forth coming with bad things in her life and at last update by her the guy was leaving her alone. But our almost 5 year old says that the guy is mommas bf and taht sometimes he lives there but that last week, night before we picked her up, that she spent the night at the BF's house. We are worried but we also hate to turn CP mom into a royal *itch again. Trust me she can be and we just recently got it where she is civil in front of the child. She use to just go off but now at least she calls us to do it. (hope the child is not in the room, usually not the case) us getting along is better for the child but we are so worried we think our only option is to call the police to check it out. Boom there goes the can of worms. How do you weigh what is most important? The BF has always been kind to the child and she likes the BF. So do we sit back and worry in order to protect her mentally. Mom punishes child when she is angry with us. Or do we do what our gut says and call the police? Thanks for any input. I've browsed this sight for a few weeks now and everyone is always very helpful.


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RE: also posted on child custody.... Sorry I am new at this
« Reply #3 on: Jul 08, 2004, 10:29:23 AM »
If the child is old enough to be taught to use it, a prepaid cell phone that was sent with her when she went with NCP might make sense.  Be sure to get a prepaid one, so that if lost, stolen, or used by unauthorized persons (aka NCP or NCP's b/f), you would only be out a limited amount of money (I buy time in $20 increments for my teens) and not in for a rude telephone bill shock.  Preprogram the phone numbers for yourself on the autodial and be sure she knows how and when to call 911 (and knows her BM's address as the cell phone won't necesarily automatically display the address at the dispatcher's station, if heaven forbid, the child should have to use it!).  Good luck!


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RE: also posted on child custody.... Sorry I am new at this
« Reply #4 on: Jul 08, 2004, 01:14:05 PM »
Hey thanks for the advice problem is she is only 4 1/2 she could probably be taught to use it but it would be taken from her (CP or older brother) but I did get on here and bought a SPARC card we sent a registered letter with a card we made up and informed her that this was for her to use to have the child call us not for the CP to use to call the child when the child is here (she can find a way to get to the phone) I only sent it yesterdayit's only ten dollars anyway so if CP uses it to call the child at least I won't be out a lot of money. But the CP finally called she hung up on my fiance until the voicemail picked up then she put the child on and you can clearly hear in the background CP telling child what to say. "tell them you are happy with momma" tell them you are not sick" tell them you are ok" and the child is saying the exact same words and sounds like a robot. Cp won't talk if we answer she will only talk to voicemail its weird my imagination goes nuts and makes me think the child isn't okay and would tell something if we could actually speak with her. But I am probably jumping to conclusions. Anyway thanks for the advice.


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RE: also posted on child custody.... Sorry I am new at this
« Reply #5 on: Jul 08, 2004, 01:23:56 PM »
If you think the child could be in danger you could always have the police department do a welfare check. They will go out and see the child and then if there is anything wrong they will report it and it would have heavy weight with the court. Plus even if there isnt aanything wrong they will call you back and tell you the child is ok. We had to do this once because Bm had denied visits and any contact with child for over a month and we were concerned about him. They went out and reported to us that he was ok but had poison ivy. Just an idea for you!


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RE: also posted on child custody.... Sorry I am new at this
« Reply #6 on: Jul 08, 2004, 01:27:02 PM »
Keep those voice mails and get them transcribed.

You can call the local police and ask them to do a child welfare check at bms house due to DV of her and b/f and that you want to make sure your child is safe, have then call you back or mail you a report.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

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RE: also posted on child custody.... Sorry I am new at this
« Reply #7 on: Jul 08, 2004, 01:35:33 PM »
Hope you're recording and saving those messages.........
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......


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RE: also posted on child custody.... Sorry I am new at this
« Reply #8 on: Jul 08, 2004, 02:40:16 PM »
Definately recording all messages and conversations with bm mom and brother (that is our only way to try to contact bm at this point) bm's mom states she is very worried and prays every night and bm brother said the only way she will learn her lesson is in the grave. We tried the welfare check on Monday and the officer told us since we had spoke to the child on Friday that it didn't seem necessary to him. He then said after five days of course she called last night but hung up whenever my fiance answered only to leave two voicemails and never tried the home number that she knows I am at in the evenings. I don't know what to do the only reason she called is that we talked BM mom into getting BM a phone card (actually I think she was tired of us calling her) and BM actually said it is to inconveinent for her to put quarters in a payphone! How ridiculous! anyway thanks for all the advice by the next time we have to return her to BM she will have tha SPARC card. Thank god for those!


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