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Author Topic: Got a few questions, finally got to see kids,ad got a court date!  (Read 2175 times)


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Well after informing the CP that if the children were not available that she would be getting an order to appear, she had the kids ready for DH to pick up. Well kinda anyway, they were dirty and she sent them with nothing but the clothing on their backs, but as DH has not been allowed to see them for a while he didn't care.

He also got a court date to see if he can get more visitation time, and got it in record time!  Before his surgery has to take place too!  I am hoping and praying that he gets atleast a little of what he asked for, Currently he gets every other friday at 5 to saturday at noon. We live 4 hours away so that can be a mess. he asked for one weekend a month Friday to sunday. His order said "reasonable visitation during the summer" which to the CP means none, so he asked for some specific time during the summer.  Also to make the exchange point the police station. When DH picked up the kids, She acted so badly that she almost got in alot of trouble. In front of the police even! I would not have had the nerve.

Now for some questions
1. Cp informed DH that the children were not allowed to sleep at their grandmothers(DH's mother,we spend the night there because she lives near the CP) because The Grandmother lives in a 2 bedroom apt, with her two sons, and there is not enough room.( never mind that Cp has 9 kids living in a three bedroom house.) Since it is Dh's parenting time can she have any say in this? When we stay at his mothers, they have their own bed(bunkbeds), their uncles give up their room completely. I don't see the problem with this. This will be a moot point if the judge grants the motion, as we will bring them back to our house.

2. Does the CP really have any say on what happens during Dh's parenting time? She has already decreed that we can't touch their hair(to be combed), take them around any of my relatives,  or left alone with me for any period of time for any reason. I know most of this is crap, but rather not have any surprises.


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RE: Got a few questions, finally got to see kids,ad got a court date!
« Reply #1 on: Sep 27, 2004, 03:19:55 AM »
Unles its in the co,, no.

Unless DH places them in harms way,,, no.

CP cannot dictate how, where, or who you all spend time with during visitation.


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RE: Got a few questions, finally got to see kids,ad got a court date!
« Reply #2 on: Sep 27, 2004, 03:35:24 AM »
The answer to both of your questions is no.  Unless she files a restraining motion against grandma, you, or your family she can have no say over where the kids are during your parenting time.  I think she would be happy that they are not on the road for 8 hours.    She cannot control Dad's time.  Period.

When you go to court. . .be sure to ask for the extra school days that are off around your weekend, for holidays, teacher inservice etc.

I wouldn't fight the clothing thing.  I would keep a set of pajamas, play clothes, and dress clothes for each kid.  Then when they arrive, I would bathe them and wash their clothes.  They can wear the clothes you have for them all weekend and you can send them back in the clothes that they came in.


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RE: Got a few questions, finally got to see kids,ad got a court date!
« Reply #3 on: Sep 27, 2004, 06:34:18 PM »
IF it is not stated in the court order that the kids cannot be at grandmas then they can go stay where dh chooses. lol if she doesn't want them at grandmas ask her to pay for a hotel, I am sure she wouldnt want to do that.

You can comb their hair ewww not combing hair.

Keep clothing at your house, bm send my ss's in nasty clothes and dirty most of the time so we take them home put then in the tub and have them change into clothing at our house.

Most father regardless the distance get their kids for at least 4-6 weeks in the summer.


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**


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My experience
« Reply #4 on: Sep 28, 2004, 09:56:57 PM »
 My  Final court order say's that CP has decision making on school and doctors , CP takes the court order to school and Doctor and try's to tell them not to give Me info etc . My atty told me ." The order does not prohibit anything " It gives her decision making on school and Doctor " SO " Go to the school And doctor and talk to them and make them your friend " And Atty really said this too [After] CP tried to make a big deal of it all " keep doing it It pisses her off " And maybe she'll do something really stupid "
  It is My Understanding that they can't keep you from any parenting function unless they have a court order ,
     I got so when the psycho said stuff like that, I Would just say " call your atty ". Then My atty wrote a letter to me saying write up some lengthy letter etc , He did not care really what I say , And he will send a letter basicall saying , Shut up " So I did , I wrote a lengthy letter Saying that this letter writing is a waste of time and her atty is just making a bunch of cash from it and is known for doing this to make a big fee , And how much do you have in atty letters etc ! Cut the nosense , ... Then My atty told Me that I can fax or send letters to her atty And he will charge her for the fee . Because he can't charge Me for it , And thenwhen they send a letter back Then He will in turn fax it too me , And , She will get tired of paying her atty and will start cooperating ,   This has basically happened ,  My atty has the theory of Behavior modification , And it seems to work ! Just keep all this to the facts , I have learned , Do not engage them . Just get the kids and walk away , the police station is an excelent Idea , At first I did not like the neutrall pickup point, But it really works , And I also found that a video camera really makes them fly straight , My psycho tried to make a big fuss of it and , When At trial My atty said to bring this up and say whats she trying to Hide , The tape itself wont be very likely to be shown , And this is what happened , and I used the video camera when helping My cousin with his same visitation problem , And the relatives flipped us off so I pointed  the camera at them , They put the nasty finger away, And have since cooperated , SOOOO there is a a piece of info that worked for me as far as behavior modification for two people  , They will make a big deal ofthe video camera , You can even get some oldpiece of junk from the goodwill ,that doesn't even work , They will think you are filming and be likely to behave .I Wash state Its legal to film what isin the open and illegal to film inside someones home .But you can film what is visible from the street ,Let her say all this crap , There is nothing she can do unlees someone is a sexoffender orsomething , then she has to take you to court over it , Again Just get the kids and walk away !! She'll get use to it .


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RE: Got a few questions, finally got to see kids,ad got a court date!
« Reply #5 on: Oct 18, 2004, 02:15:29 PM »

Our family, too, is going through some very trying times.  It's as tho we have all been caught up in a whirlwind and are still reeling from it.  The
way these alienating parents (in our case it's grandparents) get away with their wicked actions is beyond belief.  I have determined that instead of sitting back and letting it happen, I was going to take action.  Here is what we are doing in Maine and you mignt be interested in doing the same in your state.  It does take a lot of time but I am determined they are not going to get away with it. There's too many hurting kids
 and parents out there who need help and are entitled to pursue
 happiness and freedom.

I started by writing a letter to the editor about Parental Alienation
in our case it is Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS).  I had people call me who are going through a similar experience.  I found a woman, through this, who wanted to join me in forming a support group. But we also wanted to inform others of this awful disorder that breaks up families and denies them of their civil rights.
Our aim was to INFORM the Guardian's ad litem, lawyers, School Guidance counselors, Legislators and those in authority to do something meaningful for targeted parents & kids..  
We set a date for a meeting and it's going to be held in a school, on Oct 25 (usually school rooms are free). Next we sent out over 125 notices - on post cards (it's less expensive that way), put up posters, and sent Press Releases to the newspapers invited the 4 TV stations to attend this meeting. We call our group KIDS IN DISTRESS (that may change later).  We also have contacted family services groups who are more than willing to help.  There are Kids pins you can buy and we are buying them to wear to identify ourselves and sell to others who are interested in saving our kids and to help hurting parent.
We are hoping this will attract some much needed attention to this vicious problem and bring it out in the open.?
ANOTHER IMPORTANT THING....did you know you could and should contact the FBI regarding your rights being denied as stated in the 14th amendment sec #1?   -your right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness is being denied.  For more information on this go to  

...you have a case and everyone reading this should write to the FBI in your area at once.  Let's make this an issue - we have a chance to make a difference if we work together.  Send a copy of your letter to: The Dept of Justice, CRIMINAL SECTION, Civil Rights Div, 950 Pennsylvania Av, Washington DC 20530.  If you don't know the address of your local FBI office, (you should be able to find it in the tel book under United States Government) send it directly to the Justice Dept. and they will forward it to the proper FBI district.
It's the job of the FBI to investigate and the Dep of Justice to prosecute.
GOOD LUCK don't give up, it's the squeeky wheel that gets attention!
Let's take action, if we don't nobody will
(in Maine)


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RE: Got a few questions, finally got to see kids,ad got a court date!
« Reply #6 on: Oct 26, 2004, 07:30:33 AM »
 What experience have you had.  My husband goes to court Nov. He needs all the help he can get.  He is representing himself these days.  If he a had an impartial judge I wouldn't worry, but there has been no impartiality from the start.  His ex's attorney was the head of this judges finance committee for re-election.
Just want to know what kind of assistance has resulted in what you suggest.


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RE: Got a few questions, finally got to see kids,ad got a court date!
« Reply #7 on: Oct 26, 2004, 08:43:33 AM »
Answer to both questions is no. He he not putting the children in harms way.

He might think about doing up a Parenting Plan. Have everything in writing so she can not continue these games.

I really like this FBI stuff. Thank you, Ladybug...

"Children learn what they live"


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