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Author Topic: I JUST WANNA SEE MY SON  (Read 2196 times)


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« on: Dec 03, 2003, 12:49:59 PM »
My name is erik murray sr, I was there when my son was born I even named him, every thing was great for the first month and a half of his life. me and the mother started to have problems so I decided to break things off with her but I told her I wanted to maintain a relationship with my son, I love him so much. However because I broke things off with her she has refused to let me see him for the last month and a half. All I have now is the pictures from when he was born and the ones she sent me shortly after. I am sad every day and often depressed the only thing I care about is seeing my son. If I had the money I would hire a lawyer to get visitation but right now I just don't have the money, I just recently lost my full time job and am earnestly seeking full time employment, I do have a part time job as a Pianist at a local Church and could pay a lawyer if a payment plan was worked out. Someone please help me, please!

Erik D.C. Murray Sr.


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« Reply #1 on: Dec 03, 2003, 07:29:09 PM »
I have been through this whole thing , the first thing you need to do is post what state you are from , the types of papers you file from state to state will vary ,So You need the right information , And You will see your son !!! I went through the same thing , I made some mistakes along the way , I could write a book but I will keep it short as far as what happened , And what Is likely to happen for You ,
    First All this will be concerning washington state , All things i list are what happened to me ,
        Child born out of wedlock , File motion for establishment of paternity [this is your only chance ] If this is not your child then By what You said you will want out of this if it is not your son ,
    Or bypass that and file a ,parenting plan , [repost] about parenting plans [your state]
     You just need to get it filed
 then You will get the results : She will be likely to make up some allegations like you are a stalker, pedophile, Abuser,  
    If not .you are home free take the parenting plan you get at first , It won't be much. like a couple hours per week , Likely to be supervised , If you don't have money start thinking of a perrson that will supervise,
    If her allegations make a stir,, don't get excited !!! this from here on out will be standard procedure ,
     I am putting this in simmple form, so it is the highly edited version
      Wash state : Standard procedure is to get a Guardian ad Litem appointed by the court ;
   THEN ;You will talk to the GAL , Keep cool ;as a man Your bad before you start , Thinking back : I advise :don't bitch about her just say you want to see your son :
    That was one of the smartest things I ever did before a commissioner :
  the commissioner asked her atty "what is she saying ?
   Her atty "bla bla bad guy bla bla "
    commissioner : is there a GAL report? yes
   GAL report say's her allegations don't check out "
   [  the GAL report has to be filed with the court before they will do anything , ]
    Commissioner : What is DAd saying :
      My atty : [forgot ) half my stuff  I told him I just want to see My son
     My atty teels commissioner what I said
       Commissioner smiled at me "
     Her atty: dads a bad guy Bla bla bla "
    commissioner : what's dad saying again
     My atty : he wants to see his son
   commissioner: smiles "what does he want :
      My atty : Asked me what I want ; Atty was even trying to minimise my time ; I tolsd My atty "You work for me tell them I want EVERY WEEKEND"
   Commissioner that doesn't work
     My atty , think of something else
    Me: I am self employed, Every Tuesday so I can take son to a interactive parenting class ' And every other weekend and every other thursday .
  Commissioner "OK"
   So I have an ok plan but
    First you have to have the GAL report in in this state or they wont do any thing . And Previous to this I had to go through PAID supervised visits , But people that don't have money Have other alternatives , YOU have to have the alternative ready , Use some one from your side though or a neutral friend to both of you , the court wouldn't be likely to have one of her relatives do it so don't try , You are going to go through a process , the only way thiswill work is to Go through with it ,
     the help in wash state is located believe it or not at the child support office , ask them for a community help booklet or pamplet, here they have some out dated info But be persistant in calling the numbers with a pen and note pad ready , You will get to a low cost or no cost legal aid group , It will be most likely to be for women , BUT it is legal aid for the unemployed and they can help or point you in the right direction ,
   Next call the court house , there may be court house facilitaters ; I did not get any where with them and hired an atty , next
  ask the court house if they have a night that atty's help pro se  or pro bono litigants , or in other words self representing litigants go there stand in line they help when they get to you
   next call youir state BAr association ask for a list of atty's that help  pro se litigants, and or any info they have about any self help info on the internet , You could very likely find some one on the sparc site that is from your state that will help you the paper work isn't complicated ; this site has an area that is for pro se litigants , with a state by state guide of what to file , click on the drop down menue up above ,
    remmember stay calm when you talk to all these people , and write down what they say be persistant , And make sure you get the info right , they don't care about the particulars , I have learned through this process that all this is run of the mill crap it seems very frustrating at first , But this is the process and you are in it now , the cooler you are through out the better you will fare , If the woman is the typical vendictive bitch she will try to push your buttons and make up any thing she can [My expierience ) DON'T  react ot any thing any accusation or admit anything , Unless she has proof like a picure a witness a police report , the psycho in my case has pulled every cheap shot she can , I simply asked a few people questions and ran into people that know her by chance , she made this out to be a BIG deal , don't even ask or tell any one on her side any thing , UNLESS it is for sure a crime or proveable , And is a detriment to the childs well being and puts the child in harms way other then that , all personal affairs don't effect the child except like e relationship with a convicted pedophile or active drug user or something ,except for the pedophile there isn't much to really get any where , first just get an order for visits then stay cool ,

   My email g6ips3y@hotmmail.com
    I went through exactly what you are about to get into stay cool !!! this is same shit different guy to the court ,,don't engauge don't fight fire with fire , You are now John boy walton period ,


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« Reply #2 on: Dec 03, 2003, 10:50:04 PM »
All the states provide you with sate attorneys  pro-bono (name could change from state to state) or contact your State Bar Association, they can help.  You can file pro-se as well or check in the family court division if they provide mediation, that's free.  It is very important that you tell us in what state are you.  The laws change from state to state.  Most of the information above is in the web-site of your state.  But we can help.

Very important:
1.What your divorce agreement says (if you have one) in regards to:
  a.  Do you have joint custody? or she has sole custody?
  b.  Did you set up visitation?  How much visitation did you get?
2.  Be prepared to:
  a.  pay child support
  b.  be accused for harrasment by your ex
  c.  wait a couple of months until the court gives you a date for the
  d.  when you have a hearing be prepared that the judge grants most
       of the petitions of your ex.  Visitation for sure, will be granted to
       you, don't expect nothing else, by now.

Good luck


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