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Author Topic: Unbelievable new stunt pulled...need opinions, please.  (Read 1904 times)


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Unbelievable new stunt pulled...need opinions, please.
« on: Aug 12, 2005, 07:33:41 PM »
Background: DH was with BM for 6 years, never married. The Court Order states that she has primary custody and he has "reasonable vistiation" - 2 evenings/week & EOWE.

Since their breakup - 4+ years ago, they have worked out that DH has them M, W, F and 1/2 Saturday. It has worked out that DH has had them at LEAST 50% of the time.

When he and I first moved in together, she stopped letting him have overnights because she didn't really know me. I spent HOURS on the phone with her and at her house so we could get to know eachother, and seemed to be getting along rather well considering the circumstances. It took two months before things settled down. We got engaged and then married shortly thereafter (2 weeks ago yesterday).

She called and congratulated us on the wedding. She says that she thinks that she and DH need to be able to communicate better (they always seem to end up in an argument when they talk) for the sake of the kids. Then, out of the BLUE, she has done a COMPLETE 180!

She denied us visitation earlier in the week. We agreed that we'd swap that day for Thursday, since she was taking them Friday through Sunday up north camping with her new boyfriend. That means she will be denying us two day this week. Last night she shows up at our door at 10:00 at night WITH THE POLICE. She told them some cockamamy story about how DH told her she couldn't take the kids and he was keeping them from her. This is COMPLETE BS!!!

The police said that the kids had to go with her, but they started crying and screaming and saying they wanted to stay with us. The police talked to DH and got his side of the story, and asked the kids where they would rather be. They said with us. After getting more of the story, the policeman told BM she had to leave. No report was filed.

We went to the Friend of the Court today and filed a written deposition of the events. We are meeting with a lawyer tomorrow.

What, if anything, do you think we can do? The kids are with her this weekend up north, and we're scared that she won't let us have them when they come back. Any opinions?


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By the way, I used to be Mellybug
« Reply #1 on: Aug 13, 2005, 06:35:36 AM »
I was on SPARC for a couple of years before this. I used to be Mellybug and I lived in NY with my abusive bf/fiance Steve, his 2 kids and his PBFH ex-gf (BM of the kids).

I'm now back in MI, married to the most WONDERFUL man, and 2 VERY GOOD children. Ther mother USED to be nice - but has quickly turned into the PBFH since my husband and I got married.

Just thought y'all should know. (HI, JanM).


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RE: By the way, I used to be Mellybug
« Reply #2 on: Aug 13, 2005, 08:31:33 PM »
Hey, Mel!
You updated me in chat not long ago. So happy for you.
Funny how things change with a new SO in the picture...
Hopefully she is no worse than the last one.


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RE: Unbelievable new stunt pulled...need opinions, please.
« Reply #3 on: Aug 13, 2005, 08:38:03 PM »
Welcome back Melly.

Sorry to hear things have changed so much, do you think it her new boyfriend is behind this???
How do the kids feel about this new man???
How does DH feel, maybe talking with her about how she made DH jump thru hopes to have overnights when he started the relationship with you, you may want to remind her of this.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**


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RE: Unbelievable new stunt pulled...need opinions, please.
« Reply #4 on: Aug 14, 2005, 06:25:47 AM »
Hey, Wendl & JanM!!! So good to be back -I've MISSED you. I tried and tried to get my password, but there was an AOL glitch and I thought I was being ignored. Silly me.

Anyway, Jan - the SO is MUCH BETTER than the last one. She's no smarter, though. We got along for the first few months, but when DH and I moved in together...she )(

Wendl- NO, I don't think her new BF is behind this. He actually seems like a rather benevolent person, although I've never met him. Just the way the kids talk about him, he seems nice enough. Sadly, we feel that BM is with him simply because of our nuptuals. She didn't have a BF for 4+ years until DH and I got engaged. This particular man has been pursuing her since DH and she broke up.

It is her AUNT that is causing this ruckus! She is very close with her aunt, who THINKS she's smart, but in reality is just bitter. You know the type. She is CONSTANTLY giving her bad advice. DH fell behind in CS, BM didn't report it until AFTER we moved in together. I told her I'd get him to start paying again. He paid off over 6 months worth in 2 months to get current, and she STILL took him to court! This was her AUNT's idea, because her aunt was taking HER ex to court for non-payment of CS. It backfired, because the judge told DH, "Tsk, tsk. Don't get behind again," and that was it.

We have reminded BM on several occasions of her hypocrisy, but, with her type, it does no good. She bends the truth to suit her needs anyway. But, here's the good news - which y'all taught me - WE DOCUMENT EVERYTHING ON A DAILY BASIS!!!

I hope to see you guys more often now that I'm back!


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RE: Unbelievable new stunt pulled...need opinions, please.
« Reply #5 on: Aug 14, 2005, 01:37:01 PM »
As with My case you will have to live with the parenting plan as it is ! . I have to go by the plan to a T And there is no argument , I was advised from the beginning to go by the parenting plan and don't even talk to her ,And that works best for me
  And as usuall the police don't want to be involved ,
   If she doesn't go by the plan then you file contempt . I would ambush her @$$ , I did it ! But the problem is then she will realise that you have to go by the plan and thats all you will get  ,And as in My situation she will no longer negotiate because she probably fears that I will trade a day then file contempt when she has them on my day, wich did not really work out for me , But she doesn't mess with me any more ,
     Maybe you all could talk and say that was a stupid event and lets get passed it , But if you don;t then you will be living by the plan , I'm not sure why you would have ever let her not give you the kids because she didn't know the new GF ,Wife , But in My mind that opens pandora's box , And you let her have that control and now she thinks she is in control .
  My situation is Mom Goes by the plan and she knows I will file contempt as I have had her in court numerous times just to get the parenting plan done . My psycho hired an atty that would do any thing to slow the process , But I persevered ,
  I don't think there will be much that is going to happen , No one is going to change the parenting plan because the kids wanted to stay at dads , Unless there is some good reason , I live by the plan And am use to it , and arrange my schedule to fit , And that looks like what you are headed for , If you were supposed to have the kids this weekend according to the plan then this will be pretty dismissive and nothing will really happen ,
  But you are doing right by at least talking to an atty , However again I My take on the picture is
   You traded a day , She tried to pick up early , The police showed and you got your court orderd weekend any way , And she did not get the traded weekend  ,
  SO she tried the Ambush where you traded a day and she tried to make trouble ,
  In my mind this is really not a $2,500 atty bill its a screw up and the court has already ordered the parenting plan . And they are not going to change any thing because the kids didn't want to go with mom ! You are headed toward sticking to the parenting plan as it is written , And I will tell you what My atty say's
   Its better to forego the visit and file contempt , And file contempt every time , then eventually the court will find her in contempt ,
  Usually contempt helps get the mothers to go by the plan , So the next time she doesn't give you the kids file contempt pro se , And you won't be likely to get her , But keep doing it pro se , I was in a mens group and some of them did well after a few tries  at pro se contempt hearing s


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