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Author Topic: Vacation Question - Need Opinions ASAP !!  (Read 4645 times)

Chooch0566

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Vacation Question - Need Opinions ASAP !!
« on: Apr 04, 2006, 11:35:35 AM »
I am the non-custodial father of a 4 year old girl.  I have a visitation order in place that states that I am allowed to take my daughter on vacation as long as I provide 30 days notice to her custodial parent (trifling baby's momma).  My current wife and I are planning a weeks long trip to the U.S. Virgin Islands.
Baby's Momma is attempting to block this vacation saying that it's "too far and dangerous".  I've provided her with the itinerary and lodging information.

Is there anything she can do to block this vacation ?
Is there anything I can do to still go ?

It seems that she always thows up roadblocks just out of spite because I'm married.

HELP !!!


b1798

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RE: Vacation Question - Need Opinions ASAP !!
« Reply #1 on: Apr 04, 2006, 12:07:47 PM »
How much vacation time were you awarded and what is your current agreement?

Ref

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She can not hand over the child
« Reply #2 on: Apr 04, 2006, 12:08:00 PM »
She can mess up your vacation by not handing the child over. Then you will have to sue her for denial of visitation. It's such a pain.

Do you have proof that she intends on denying you visitation( in writing or tape recorded)?

Do both of you still have attornies? If you do have you attorney send hers a letter stating that you wish to exercise your visitation and that BM is threatening to deny. That might just work.

Good Luck
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wysiwyg

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RE: She can not hand over the child
« Reply #3 on: Apr 04, 2006, 12:31:00 PM »
Our court order states that I choose my summer vacation with my child, CP interprets this to be that SHE dictates what it should be if she does NOT agree.  As our attorney's past and present have told her, there is nothing in the order that states she can change alter or deny this time.  It is up to the NCP to change vacation if they so decide, but that decision is up to the NCP.

That being said, the previous poster is correct, the CP can decide to not allow you to take your child on vacation, but you might consider sending a letter to her via certified mail, that you have given her ample notice, there is (if there is) no provision in the courts orders that allow her to deny this time, etc etc etc and then tell her that you are prepared to excalate the matter further if she is in disagreement with the court order.  

IF she continues - send the info to your attorney, you always have the option of filing an emergency order prior to the vacation if you feel you must...........

Not legal adivce by any means just My opinion.

Chooch0566

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RE: She can not hand over the child
« Reply #4 on: Apr 04, 2006, 12:39:11 PM »
The visitation order states the only thing that is required is a 30 day notice and list of itinerary and lodging information.

CP ALWAYS trys to put a wrench in things that she doesn't agree with and I think that in this instance I will probably have to go to court to get an emergency injunction.

I've abidied by the 30 day notification rule.

Just makes me nervous AND upset that just because she "says so" she can nix the 5000 dollar vacation that I've so diligently planned for my family and I to enjoy.

I wonde rif in fact she holds back my child from going, could I take her to small claims court to recoup the costs that I've already dished out.


wysiwyg

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RE: She can not hand over the child
« Reply #5 on: Apr 04, 2006, 12:52:14 PM »
if so you might file contempt and ask for reimbursement of the fees.  I think if I were you I would speak to your attorney, as you have done your part according to the court order and in fact gave her all the info in ample time and see if your attorney can get something initiated, your attorney can get a feel as to how it is going to go down and advise you if you need to get an emergency order for the trip.  


MixedBag

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RE: Vacation Question - Need Opinions ASAP !!
« Reply #6 on: Apr 04, 2006, 09:26:24 PM »
They're right -- EX/CP can just plain not send the child to you.

So -- what do you do?

You can't tell a brick wall to listen to you IF the brick wall wants to cause you trouble.  They're gonna figure out one way or another to get their job done.

So -- that being said -- IF CP doesn't send child and you've complied with the order, you have no choice but to file a motion for contempt.  Along with that motion, I'd file and ask for reimbursement of all expenses incurred -- as a result of missing that time.  


notnew

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I had very similar situation a few years ago. I sent vacation dates I intended to take by stipulated date in our agreement. She wrote back and told me that I could not have it. Then went on to tell me when I could have vacation and that she was not giving up her weekends with the child. The CP does not have designated visitation time with the child. Sometimes they seem to misunderstand that it seems (tongue in cheek - they know exactly what they are doing).

I filed contempt based on this and the ruling was in my favor. You have to get your filing in plenty of time to have a hearing.

If she denies your visitation and you waste you vacation $$ - I'd ask her to reimuburse the cost of the child for the vacation and the filing fees. You cannot be reimbursed for representing yourself in court.

You do not need an attorney for this process. Check out the pro-se office in your court house and you will find everything you need there.

Good Luck!

MixedBag

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I respectfully disagree with something you said
« Reply #8 on: Apr 05, 2006, 04:59:34 PM »
You said:  "The CP does not have designated visitation time with the child. Sometimes they seem to misunderstand that it seems (tongue in cheek"


Both parents have "rights" to spend time with the child per the divorce decree -- actually the divorce decree spells out when the CHILD has the right to spend time with each parent.

We've been cautioned about filing before the event happens...but I understand your position and that you won BEFORE it happened.


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notnew

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You are right but for NCP it can be a slap
« Reply #9 on: Apr 10, 2006, 06:47:50 AM »
Mixed,

I understand what you are saying. However, when you get every other weekend, shared holidays, two weeks per summer and not one extra minute than the court order states, AND the ex makes attempts to interfere with the court ordered time, things start to feel a little different.

Also, I had to file for emergency hearing in the beginning of all of this 6 years ago becuase my ex hid child from me for several months. So, my time is court ordered,  hers isn't. She has custody and IMHO doesn't need "designated" time to spend with our child other than holidays, she has our child a majority of the time already and if the child isn't scheduled to be with me, then naturally would be with her anyway.

My two weeks can be continious or not. So, I elect to begin one week the Sunday evening at the conclusion of my regular weekend and return child the following Sunday. This gives me 9 full days with child two times in the summer. It is the ONLY time I get to spend continious time with the child at all. What ex tried to do was to include my regularly scheduled weekends in the two weeks, giving me 7 days each week. The two weeks is meant to be IN addition to the already scheduled weekends.  That is how it is written in the order and that is how the court saw it too.

About filing in advance. As I said, if he has a letter from the other parent informing him that he won't be able to have child as planned, then I don't see why they couldn't file in advance since they have proof that the other parent intends to violate the order. It worked for me, but I am sure there are a lot of situations where it may not work. However, if they don't have solid proof, then the best option may be to file for clarifcation of the order and hope they get a hearing before the vacation. It sounds to me like their order is too vague and needs to be spelled out more clearly. Specific details about these types of things always makes it so much easier to know who is supposed to do what.

 

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