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Author Topic: Need Advise  (Read 1390 times)


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Need Advise
« on: Apr 14, 2006, 11:55:41 AM »
I could write a novel on here about my story.  Long story short, I have unfortunately had to fight for years now for joint custody of my son. I've only ever wanted to simply have an equal opportunity to raise my son, to be involved in his life and hold responsibility in all aspects of his life.  

My ex has done everything in her power to fight for sole custody. She has no grounds and has never succeeded.  However, the final result is she does have my son majority of the time.  I see him every Wed 5-8 and every other w/e Fri @ 5pm to Sunday till 7pm.  She has done everything in her power to brainwash or "program him".  He will be turning 7 this month.  

Back in January, she started to indicate my son does not want to come over here.  He does not want to talk to me on the phone.  She has single handely eliminated him from my life since.  Simutanesely, he has experienced troubles in school. He didn't want to go to school.  It turns out he was being bullied in school.  The school forced her to take him to a counsellor.  This counsellor has been zero help however.

The bottom line is I haven't seen my son in 3 months and have done everything imaginable to try to.  I believe the studies of Parental Alienation Sydrome as a strong possiblity of years results of her brainwashing him.

I suppose I'm just looking for any advise anyone may have for me so that I can maintain my releationship with my son.  I don't have much money to continue through courts to be noted.  I have spent unreal amounts already to sustain joint custody.  I just want my son to be happy!  I miss him terribly and it affects me every single day.  We were very very close.  I would do anything for him.

thank you everyone!


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Its really hard to give advise
« Reply #1 on: Apr 16, 2006, 04:46:47 AM »
because so many of us are in the thick of it ourselves.

I would go to ex's home and drag him kicking and screeming to yours. At least then you will have him on your turf and can ask him what's up. If you don't do this, you pretty much have no case and you look like you willfully gave up your visitation.

So first, prepare yourself for having your heart broken. Get family and friends around you to support you during this time because your child will say some aweful things.

Second, I would write your ex stating that you will be taking visitation per your agreement on "date" at "time" from "location" and send the letter certified.

Third, pick the child up early.

Fourth, plan nothing the night he gets to your home. Just talk to him about what is going on. For the next day, plan on going out with family or friends to the zoo or something he would really enjoy. (It helps take the pressure off).

I would also contact the child's school and see if they can recommend anything for his issues there.

Keep picking him up and eventually he will stop fighting it. It is good that he is only 7. You still have some time to fix what BM is doing to him.

Remember, only your participation in his life can counter what BM says about you. It is extremely important to maintain communication with him.

Oh! About the phone calls. Put in your letter to BM that you would like to have phone visitation on say, and Wednesday that you he is not with you between 5pm and 6pm and to please make him available at those times. Ask her to contact you if those times are not convienient.

Just my advise. Good Luck!!



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RE: Its really hard to give advise
« Reply #2 on: Apr 16, 2006, 10:08:27 AM »
Thank you.  That is excellent advise.  I really appreciate your time with this.


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Here is the link from this site to help
« Reply #3 on: Apr 17, 2006, 03:36:33 AM »

Good luck.  Don't give up.  Your son needs you.


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