Vacations To Disney

[drummergod]

so, i'm planning to take my son to disney.  In our court order it states that each party must give a 60 day notice.  I gave her the notice, and she denied my request.  The reason being is because it states, that you must try to take your vacations in the months of June, july, and august.  But the court order is already modified for when my son is older and in school.  He's only 16 months, and there is no way that this vacation would interfer for school, since he does not attend.  

Now when she asked for her vacations(which for some reason you really can't deny them),  she got her way, and I was only able to see my son for 5 hours in one month!  She took vacation weeks, during my visitation weeks.  I tried to get a court date before christmas, because I'll be taking my son right after christmas.  I'm following the court order, in everything it pertains to thematter of her having him on New Years Day, by 12noon.  But she denied my request.  And now I don't know what to do, or how to get my son.  The police department around my way, don't show any favor for male parents.  Just like the rest of new jersey system.  They all favor for the female, and act like the father want nothing to do with there child.  And it just seems like she tries to get at me threw my son.  You can tell she shows no attention to my son, due to my son crying when leaving me, and going to her.  I didn't see my son for the first 5 months of his life, and his first word was still dada.  Tell me how that happens, considering his had a lot more time with her.  And it's funny how I end up getting phone calls, and there from my son, using her cell phone.  

So, if anyone has had this problem before, or know a way of getting my vacation approved, something in this nature, please let me know!!  Please email me at yahoo, eightball08_84.  Or just post it here, I just really need some help!!!

[Ref]

Does it say "try" to have vacations between June-August or does it say it needs to be those times? Are you planning this trip during "your time" with your son but she objects to the out of town?

BM did the same thing to Dh. This was one of the only times he told SD about the trip prior to asking BM. BM said yes but "I would have said no if you asked me first because I was going to take her this year". BTW, BM has never in 15 years gone on vacation w/ SD before or after that statement.

Don't get hung-up on your child crying during exchange. This is fairly normal and not necessarily a sign of anything bad happening to the kid. Also, the dada thing is very common too. The word is simply easier for baby's to say. SD's first word was dada too, but BM revised history to say that it was something else (I don't remember what that lie was). It is also a good sign that your child calls you on BM's cell phone. Believe me, your child would not have access to a phone if BM wanted to keep out phone contact. You have to give her the little credit she might deserve.

I'm not saying problems aren't there. I just want you to know that somethings are worth panicing over and others are not. You need to try to be as practical as possible. DH has been going through this crap for 13 years and chances are you will too. You need to pace yourself a bit.

Best of Luck
Ref

[Kitty C.]

'In our court order it states that each party must give a 60 day notice. I gave her the notice, and she denied my request.'

Did you notice that you've used 2 very different words here??  There's a HUGE difference between 'notice' and 'request'.  If your CO 'specifically' states that you must give a 60 day 'notice', you are NOT asking for permission (especially since the other parent is not in a position to give it, only the judge has that power).  So when you are giving her 'notice', you are NOT asking her if you can do this, you are TELLING her what you plan to do.  If you are completely within the guidelines of the CO and she still has a problem with that, she can request a hearing to have the CO clarified.  By the time she can make that happen, you will have been to Disney and back.

If the order specifically states that the vacations times are designated because of school schedules, and your child is not yet of school age, you are perfectly within your rights to take the child on a vacation.  And if the other parent HAS taken the child on a vacation at some other time than 'June, July and August', she's already established a 'status quo', meaning it's okay to deviate from the order because of the child's age.

This is something I've noticed myself for a long time.  NCP's (who also have joint legal) who think they have to 'ask' for the other parent's permission to do something.  The ONLY person you have to ask permission from is the judge!  It royally pisses me off when so many CP's think they hold all the control and power, even with joint legal, to the point that the NCP almost has to grovel at their feet, begging for time with the child.  If the wording of the order says one parent must 'ask', then that order needs to be changed.  But if the order says 'give notice', then that's exactly what you do.  If she doesn't like it, she can take it up with the judge!