off topic, wedding question

[bananas]

My friend is getting married in Oct.  They have been living together and already have a household set up.  They want to go on a cruise for their honeymoon.  Instead of registering somewhere, they would like it if the wedding guests could contribute toward their trip.

I thought I read somewhere that it was inappropriate to ask for a specific gift, but I'm not sure.  Does anyone know if this is appropriate etiquette?  Is there a good way for them to ask for this?  I personally don't have a problem with giving them money, but others might be miffed.  Any suggestions are welcome, and thanks!

[Peanutsdad]

This is 2004,,

Etiquete has pretty much gone the way of opening doors for ladies.


My own PERSONAL feelings is that it is in poor taste to ask for a specific gift at any occasions. It typifies the mememe society and shows a lack of breeding and upbringing.

Good luck !!!

[joni]

don't know about that one, I'd be embarrassed to ask my guests to donate to my trip.

[JenG99]

No way, very tacky, very distasteful.  They should register so they don't get four toasters, three blenders, etc. Most people choose to give cash but others like to have an option to buy a gift.

[purrrfectgirl]

They could do that as one option, but then they might want to register for a few other things somewhere else.  If they own a home they can ask for home improvement stuff (Home Depot has a gift registry), or go to Sears and register for other things (electronics, power tools).  This lets people choose what they would like to get them, but it doesn't force them into one thing.  They can pass by word of mouth that they would prefer the cruise costs paid, but they should give people other options as well.  The good rule I've heard is register at a minimum of two places or don't register anywhere at all.

[nosonew]

I think this topic was just in a Miss Manners column.  Does she have a website.  but I believe she replied that asking for $$$ is NOT okay.  However, I bet if she asked those in the younger generation for cash, they wouldn't think anything of it. Grandparents, etc., I would just leave those requests with where they registered.

[Rakkasan]

Asking for money to pay for the honeymoon is very tacky. If they already have a household set up they should put notice on the invitations that gifts are not needed just friends to help celebrate the occasion.

I know I'm just a guy and I grunt and scratch alot, but it seems to me that the purpose of giving houshold gifts as wedding presents would be to help young couples set up their first home since traditionally they are not financially established or as my grandmother so eloquently put it [em]"they don't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of"[/em].  

Also, she should not wear a white wedding dress, unless she can prove that they lived in separate rooms and never bumps uglies in the night...lol



Depression is merely anger without enthusiam

[MixedBag]

Well, I guess I blew it where my daughter's wedding is concerned.

She's getting married in a month.  In her invitations, we put a short note that said this:

E  and N  have already moved into their own apartment at 445 D Hwy, Apt 1800, M AL 36555.  E’s father has given them many of his kitchen items from his tour in Korea and they have managed to collect various pieces of furniture from friends and other family members.  Considering the events (car problems) from the last few weeks, and their plans to BOTH attend college during the upcoming years, they are asking that you consider helping them build a nest egg for tuition and transportation.  

She didn't register anywhere.

I disagree with asking for money specifically towards their honeymoon....and at the same time, I have to say "that's what I did."

We had a shower for her yesterday -- and most of those folks have already received the invitation too.  E received 5 Walmart gift cards and you know what?  That was her favorite present out of everything.  Don't know if it's right or wrong, but that's what happened.

[MissManners]

>Well, I guess I blew it where my daughter's wedding is
>concerned.
>
>She's getting married in a month.  In her invitations, we put
>a short note that said this:
>
>E  and N  have already moved into their own apartment at 445 D
>Hwy, Apt 1800, M AL 36555.  E’s father has given them many of
>his kitchen items from his tour in Korea and they have managed
>to collect various pieces of furniture from friends and other
>family members.  Considering the events (car problems) from
>the last few weeks, and their plans to BOTH attend college
>during the upcoming years, they are asking that you consider
>helping them build a nest egg for tuition and transportation.
>
>
Did I miss somehting here? I thought you said you were talking about "a friend" but you were talking about your daughter? Oh how emabarrassing for her! I would have been so embarrassed I would have just died.  And I doubt that it is a good idea to give out your daughters address on an open website like that unless you are asking for hand outs from us! Perhaps you are hoping that people here will send a donation to your daughter's future. I noticed you put "M, AL" as though no one could use the zip code to figure out the name of the town.  HOW SAD!

[bananas]

I, "bananas", posted the orignal inquiry about my friend.  "Mixed Bag" is the person who posted about her daughter.  Two separate people, two separate posts.  Let's pay attention before we arbitrarily start flaming people, shall we?

I will add that I'm quite sure no one here wants ANYTHING from you.