It says all "major medical decisions" must be by agreement or parents can file for mediation, counseling, abitration or a hearing. The children's center that diagnosed him was contacted by
BM and they asked me for a copy of the
court order. They said that since BM doesn't agree, they cannot continue treatment per the court order. Since they can't continue treatment, they will not be able to renew his prescription, do med checks or do any further testing or treatment. This means that even if I were willing to do something that may be seen as a violation of the order, I couldn't because the children's center won't see him again without BM's consent or a court order allowing them to continue. They won't even see
SD for an assessment.
DH's atty called the mediator who issued the recommendation to
change custody. He hopes that she can provide some insight on how the court might view this and her opinion as a psychologist, a mediator and a lawyer. The atty also wants DH to call just to confirm that this is DH's decision and that I'm not acting alone regarding these issues. DH hasn't been able to contact BM about this, but hopefully, he will be able to reach her tomorrow. It is such a sensitive issue and it could look really bad for DH (YSS having problems because his dad isn't here, not wanting to be here, emotional upset due to seperation from BM, etc.) or it could look really bad for BM (denying needed medical treatment, placing her feelings above the well being of her child, etc.). It's going to look bad for someone, we just don't know who.
I know DH's absence is painful for the kids. I know YSS didn't really want to live with us, not at first, anyway. The problem with all of that is, the change of custody was recommended for very good reasons and the kids were not being taken care of while in BM's care. I have twice the kids and half the support network BM had and I still manage to get everyone's homework done every night, get them to the doctor for check-up's and sick visits, attend school meetings and special ed conferrences and still cook a well balanced dinner every night. BM never helped with homework, hadn't ever taken the kids in for a check up, hadn't ever taken the kids to see a dentist, rarely, if ever, contacted teachers when the kids brought home bad grades (which was all too often) and they ate out almost every night, which is why my YSS had a cholesterol reading of well over 200 DL. The only time they have missed a therapy session while they have been here was if they were on a visit with BM or it was over the winter holidays. BM couldn't even take them to see a counselor once in the three years she had a court order to put them into counseling. Not ONCE. There were and are serious problems in BM's home. This is only the documented issues. This doesn't even go into the emotional abuse, which we haven't been able to document well enough to prove.
To answer your other questions, yes, I am the SM. DH is away on deployment until March. I have been parenting his three kids and our three kids since late October. And no, BM doesn't have an M.D. behind her name. She's a clerk-typist. She barely got a diploma and was on welfare for about 8 years before she was forced to get a job. She's as dumb as a stone boat and completely overtaken by anger and hate. She is probably the most bitter, unhappy person I have ever met. My SIL said something that made a whole lot of sense. She told me, "This isn't about HER kids. She only wants to keep them because their HIS kids." My SIL is absolutely right on the money with that statement.
