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Author Topic: 11 years and counting--it never stops  (Read 2159 times)


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11 years and counting--it never stops
« on: Apr 24, 2004, 07:24:00 PM »
It never stops. husband and BMFH have been divorced 11 years.

Husband tried to talk to BMFH about not browbeating SD (age 11) into calling her every day. – that it put too much pressure on her. BMFH wants access to her every day - she calls our house at LEAST 3-5 times every day. THerapist has said there are major amounts of PAS going on here - and her behavior shows it. There has been a BIG difference when we have curtailed the calls to a reasonable amount.

BMFH refused to listen, only to scream out her agenda, and it was about her, NOT SD and that husband was in soooooooo much trouble – and you’re gonna get it , blah blah blah. And--- you are going to pay for every wrong you have ever done to me, all my attn fees, and everything.

Today again we had a visit from the sheriff.  The police said that we had to let SD call her mom. They asked SD if she was permitted to call her mother – and she said no. They also asked her if she was being abused - she said no.

The problem is – is that SD was asked for 4 days in a row to call BMFH –and declined – and refuses now to admit that she does not wat to call her mother.

So we end up looking like the bad guys. On the record. The police stated that a judge from our court Called and talked to the supervisor of the sheriff – and asked that they talk to her in person. HOw does this happen?? we cant even get our COURT DATE to be in front of a judge without being cancelled---much less any of our "emergency motions" heard. Our last date was December!!!!!!!!!! How is she then able to get the "ears of the court" ????  

This is soooooo frustrating. We have made sure this child is in school ( almost straight A's) ON TIME - not absent a gazillion times, keep a schedule, pay for any and ALL expenses - without one penny from BM (who cares soooooooooooo much) plus legal fees in the tens of thousands, and make sure she has a happy and secure home. and the agenda of the BMFH is to wreck it all because "HOW DARE YOU MKAE MY CHILD HAPPY."

Help - because i am at the end of being able to take all of this.




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RE: 11 years and counting--it never stops
« Reply #1 on: Apr 25, 2004, 05:43:43 AM »
Sounds like she has a friend in the court house or something.  I would suggest you keep track of all phone calls going in and out.  Write a letter to bm stating she may call child on this day and that (I would suggest 2 days per week), at such and such time.  The sd is 11, I would think she would know how to pick up the phone and dial if she wished to .

Keep this log, stick to the schedule, and unless there is a medical problem, or school problem, tell her she can email her or something on the off days (then you can read it too!).  Twice per week is plenty, as 3-5 times daily is pretty disruptive to any household.  

You also may need to disengage a bit.  Back off and let your dh deal with this stuff.  Vent here, but keep it in check around sd.  Good luck!-Oh, and you may want to use a cell phone to record/log calls going in and out so you have an actual record if it is not long distance!


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RE: 11 years and counting--it never stops
« Reply #2 on: Apr 25, 2004, 07:40:49 PM »
Your SD is apparently afraid of the BM that is why she is telling the Sheriff that she isn't permitted to call. She is stuck between a rock and a hard place. One thing I don't allow with my children is lying. Does she understand the consequences of her lying? I would have a meeting with your husband and SD and discuss this.


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