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Author Topic: please help  (Read 1259 times)


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please help
« on: May 10, 2004, 06:28:07 AM »
i am 25 years old.my son is almost 2 years old now, his mother and i have been with each other for 7 years (we are not married). our relationship is on the rocks and we seem to fight all the time. i work my ass off to support her and my son, i lovemy son with all my heart. i would do anything in the world for him. the problem is that she is always threatting to leave with him when i'm least expecting it. she has left a few times and written note about how she is never comming back. she always does a few hours later,but i never know when it's really going to happen. she has contacted abused mothers orgs. and threatend to go into hiding lieing through her teeth to get these orgs. to believe her. my problem is that i don't even know what my rights are as the father of my son(there is no question that he is my son) i hear there is some paperwork that i can fill out at the clerk of the court to astablish paternity, but what is it and how do i go about doing so? what are the steps i need to take to keep my son in my life and not allow her to just walk out the door with him for me to never see him again? PLEASE HELP the tears do not go away knowing that i could lose my son at any time and there is nothing i can do about it. is there anything that i can do to stop her from just walking way with my son. he is my life and i don't know what i would do without him. losing him would be the end of my life. he is everything i work so hard for and he keeps me out of trouble. please please please help
                                      thank you


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RE: please help
« Reply #1 on: May 10, 2004, 06:30:08 AM »
Do you have an attorney yet? If not, get one as soon as possible. In the meatime, start reading:

How To Hire An Attorney

Hiring An Effective Attorney

Protecting Yourself During Divorce

Tips For Getting Started


One of the first things you'll hear around here is "Document, document, document!". Having good records is *crucial*. Get yourself either the Parenting Time Tracker (PTT) or the OPTIMAL Custody Tracking service at: http://www.parentingtime.net. The PTT is good, but the OPTIMAL service is better.


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RE: please help
« Reply #2 on: May 10, 2004, 06:43:13 AM »
You need to establish paternity ASAP and get on the child's birth certificate.  You didn't say what state you live in, so it's hard to determine at this point several things.  Most states have a website through the Attorney General or Child Support Services where you can get this paperwork filed.  All three of you will probably have to be present to do the DNA testing.

1. Does the state you live in require you to pay back child support?

2. Does the state you live in honor common law marriage (as you have stated you have been together for 7 years)?  The state I live in is 5 years.

3. You need a court order.  Once paternity is established, some states (not all) will work with you to establish guidelines and visitation.

There are several good parenting plans/visitation on this website.  Some of these protect you from the other parent moving out or moving away.

Study these plans VERY hard before you present one to the Judge or the other parent.  Otherwise you'll probably get stuck with a standard agreement, which at some point in the next 16 years you will have to modify

Go to this website: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/    
and click on ARTICLES.  This is where you'll find the plans and answers to most any question you need answered to start with.


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