I hope everyone had a great holiday season! :) It's been a while since I posted here but here's one. PLEASE share your opinion/advice with me on this one because I need it.
In a recent conversation with the ex-wife, hubby mistakingly ended it with "Ok, love ya, bye!". I was with him when this happened so I pointed out what he said. He admitted that that was a huge slip-up and he was not in the right frame of mind ending that conversation like he was talking to me or the kids. He was very worried that I will doubt him and his love and devotion but I honestly don't. I actually laughed about it at first and I totally understand the slip-up. It happened to me a few times before. Fortunately, I was talking to friends and family so that was perfectly okay because I do love my family and friends (although I don't usually say it).
So, I told him that he needed to call back and retract that phrase because we don't want the ex-wife thinking anything now, do we? So, he did. What he said on that 2nd phone call upset me. He mentioned that I was in the car and I asked him what did he say to her (in a nasty tone). The ex-wife apparently laughed and told him that she didn't want him to get beat up by me. Then, he responded with "I probably will but don't worry about it. We're good." I guess they had a joking mood going on but I particularly didn't find that conversation funny. I felt like I was made out to be the villain when I am not. I wish he didn't mention me the way he did because it felt like I forced him to call back and make that correction and that I'm really bothered by what he said. Am I really off track here? I don't want to give that woman any more "ammunition"!
All I really want is for hubby to pause and get in the right frame of mind before talking with that woman. I told him that, unfortunately, we have to be very guarded with her because she's not after our well-being. We can be civil and friendly to her without being her friends. I don't think of her as a friend nor a family member or anything of that sort but I do act friendly and civil with her for the sake of the kids. I asked hubby what he thought of her and he said that he thinks of her "like a family member" because of the kids. I was shocked! She may be the mother of their kids but the word "family" should not be attached to her in any way, shape or form because she really is not and she proves it time and time again. She may have been at one point but that's over with. I feel very disappointed that he regards her this way because she's not. All she ever did was take advantage of him and give him all the misery in the world!!!
Hubby promised that he will try his very best to not make stupid mistakes like that and that he will sound off to me before he even deals with her. I told him that it's not realistic that I should be around with his every conversation with her and I will not be. But, first and foremost, he needs to change his view of her, his attitude toward her and especially the way he communicates with her because things are different now. Always be guarded against her because you never know what she will do or use against you. I believe that once he gets this right on his head, he will be fine conversing with her. I will also feel more comfortable that their conversation will be more focused on the kids and that he isn't sharing stuff he shouldn't be sharing.
What do you think of this situation? Do you think I'm making a mountain out of a moehill? Am I being too rough on hubby? Am I way out of line?
Please advise. Thanks.