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Author Topic: Update on my situation...it's been SO LONG  (Read 1820 times)


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Update on my situation...it's been SO LONG
« on: May 13, 2005, 03:53:37 PM »
Hello, everyone - my old friends and hopefull some new.

Just a quick recap on my situation - My b/f had two kids, who finally accepted me (although it really wasn't all that difficult). Their BM (PBFH) was determined to make our lives a living hell, and I was doing everything I could to NOT GO CRAZY. Ok, so I could still be ANYONE, right?

I finally left b/f!!! He was a pretty bad alcoholic, and was drinking about 4-5 times a week. I was taking care of the entire family, house, and holding down a job. He was more concerned about where his next drink was going to come from than feeding his children, so when they were with us, I was the one taking care of them. I was basically the maid, babysitter, house-cleaner, cook, and "companion" for my ex. We both worked for the same company, so I was also a taxi...

In October, b/f had too much to drink at the bar and asked me to come see him, which I did. I was asked by the owners to take him home. While I was paying his tab (since his card was declined), he drove off. I left not 5 minutes behind him and drove up on his accident. I didn't know for sure if it was him, until they took him out of the ambulance to take him to the helicopter and fly him to the hosp. I should have left, but I didn't...

Our work was laying off people, so I asked to be one of them, in order to be able to have an excuse to leave him and move back to my mother's, but he got laid off, too. It was the same day as his daughter's orientation lunch for her first day of school. I said goodbye to people at work, and he went off with one of his friends (also laid off) and they got LOADED. He was ordered NOT to drink by the courts...I left a week later.

It's been tough, mostly because of the kids. My ex was an emotional abuser, and was very hard on me. I've been feeling LIBERATED since I left, and have LEARNED a whole lot. I'm a very happy person, but I miss the kids so terribly much. He told me I couldn't talk to them since I had NO RIGHTS. He said I left and that's that.

Mother's Day the kids called me to wish me a Happy Mother's Day. That was the ULTIMATE TRIUMPH!!! (They were with their father on Mother's Day...what does that tell ya?)

Sorry it was so long - just thought y'all would like the update. I'm checking the site almost daily now, too, so I'm keeping tabs on all of you!



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RE: Update on my situation...it's been SO LONG
« Reply #1 on: May 13, 2005, 07:58:51 PM »
Hi Melly!!  I was in Chat that final day with you...the loaded part must of been later that night.

I am glad to hear you did it, and you are doing so much better.

That is great the kids called you too.  There will never be anything he can do to take that away from you.  :)




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RE: Update on my situation...it's been SO LONG
« Reply #2 on: May 15, 2005, 09:24:59 AM »

 I am so glad you left that situation. I dated an abuser too and was much happier when I left him (luckily at this time not kids invovled)

It is wonderfull the kids called you, they know who took care of them when they were visiting dad.

Best of luck to you on your new and much better journey in life.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

Kitty C.

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BT. DT..............
« Reply #3 on: May 17, 2005, 10:55:25 AM »
.....and VERY glad it worked out for you!  I left DH over a year ago, because I refused to live that way. also.  In our case, he chose me over the alcohol and has been sober ever since.  Not all stories like this have happy endings, or turn out the same....but I'm glad it turned out the right way for you and me!
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......


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