Ugh! Ever since
Sd was a tot,
BM called after her summer time with us complaining about how
DH parents and trivial issues. It is like clockwork. As SD has gotten older, she makes the calls and uses words that her mom uses. It is so sad. BM has her brainwashed.
She did the same this year. Two weeks after she went back, SD called complaining about Dh filing for decrease in support, not spending our wedding money on keeping CS at the same level, suing her mom (her mom is suing him) and him spying on her myspace (she was busted for admitting to smoking pot and drinking on her page by us).
We have always said, court and
child support is between DH and you mom. These are things you shouldn't worry about. Unfortunately, BM has not followed those rules. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to tell her what was really going on.
SD was mad because DH's name was on the pick-up slip at school and BM's wasn't. I told her that it was because BM told the school DH couldn't have grades or anything, that DH was able to ask them to put his name on all the documents for emergency not to take off BM's, but in addition. I told her about her mom writing this to a letter to the judge. I told her that her mom was suing Dh not the other way around. I told her it concerned us that her mom lived off of HER child support for 10 years to go to school rather than help support her, taking food out of her mouth....I told her her mom now has to take some financial responsibility for her because now she got a job and DH couldn't get one that makes as much after his company closed its doors.
Her mom told her that they would have
moved out of the section 8 housing this year (after 11 years) and get a house, but DH made her spend her money on a lawyer. I told Sd that wasn't true. I saw her finances (through court docs) and know she never had $ saved. She said that her mom got screwed when Dh filed for increase of visitation. (He had about 4 weeks a year and after mediation ended up with the county's standard visitation). I told her that noone walks away from court happy. Both feel like they lost, most of the time. DH got what anyone else was entitled to. How is that screwing BM? BM only allowed 4 weeks and it is hardly enough to allow SD to take trips and get to know her family.
I never bad mouthed her mom as a person, but I was as honest as ever about what was going on. Maybe this was the wrong thing to do, I don't know. All I know is that BM was ruining SD's life by taking ALL of her family, except her, and manipulateing her to believe that DH, the one who IS looking out for their daughter, is the a$$hole.
I'm holding my breath for PBFH's response. I know I will probably get blasted, but after 12 years of this pounding by her mom, I couldn't take it anymore and it seemed more harmful for SD to keep quiet. I guess time will tell.
Ref