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Author Topic: Threatening again...  (Read 2852 times)


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Threatening again...
« on: Dec 07, 2006, 03:39:22 PM »
Hi all,  just wanted to update on the latest with us.  BM called last week demanding some games that ss has had for a while.  They belong to her cousin/lover.  Anyway, she wanted them returned to her....but, seeing that she first lied to dh - saying they were her's.....and that they belonged to her bf, dh decided to take ss there and have him return the games.  So, he and oss did that this week.  Within ten minutes of getting home, bm was on phone.  She called oss at his gf's house and thanked him for driving ss and was all sweet to him.    Called here and told dh that the games were scratched and one was missing. Says her bf is holding dh responsible to pay for the games...to a tune of $300.  

She said if its not paid in one week, she and bf will be going to the court house to file charges.   Dh told her she took ss to her bf's when he got these games, not him...so it is her responsibility.  She said that her bf will not hold her liable.....he is holding him because he is ss' parent and is responsible for all of ss' actions.  

We are currently paying restitution on a laptop that was damaged while in her custody, and she signed for.  

Dh said for her bf to call him....and she said dh did not want him calling....Like dh should be so scared.  LOL.....dh has left one message at the guy's home and called again to no answer.  

So, we are not worried.  If they file something, they will get one hell of a fight and we will drag all their family into this to say who is taking ss over there.....

Asked soc about this and he says that the actions are extortion.  Unfortunately, I dont think dh can prove this though as we have nothing in writing or recorded.  

Tomorrow is ss' probation appt and I know she will be the drama queen about all of this.  Well, actually, I am sure she has already called the lady about all of this and dh and ss will be blindsided.



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RE: Threatening again...
« Reply #1 on: Dec 08, 2006, 07:48:43 AM »
If Soc says the actions are extortion, I'd take it pretty seriously - he is generally confident with what he says and if he isn't sure about something he'll say so.

There are times when you can prove extortion without having anything in writing. For example, in my case, my wife agreed all along to shared custody of my daughter. She signed a paper saying not only that she agreed with shared custody on a temporary basis but that we'd both recommend it to the judge on a permanent basis. For the past 3 months, my daughter has been spending alternating weeks at both houses without incident.

Then, we filed our proposed settlement agreement and she went ballistic, claiming that I'm not giving her enough money (since the divorce, I've given her well over half of my take home pay PLUS she has a $49 K per year job PLUS I'm paying all my daughter's medical, education, and extracurricular expenses). Her response to the proposed settlement was filing for sole custody and claming that I'm an unfit parent. She also told me verbally that she'd sue for custody unless I gave her more money, but no one else was around so it's my word against hers.

Can I PROVE that she's trying to extort more money? Probably not. But it looks pretty suspicious that she was happy with shared custody for months and even agreed to it in writing but her response to our financial offer was to sue for custody. My attorney says that judges see that all the time and are pretty good at seeing through it.

None of this is, of course, legal advice. Hang in there.


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Drama drama drama
« Reply #2 on: Dec 08, 2006, 08:08:02 AM »
First, it would be a small claims court kind of thing... if they could make the case, based on their valuation at $300.

I think if the games were borrowed while BM had custody, then she would be the responsible parent.

Next, the value of the game is NOT the replacement value, but the value of the games on the day they were damaged (effectively the day the games were returned, because they are alleging damage and you allege there is no damage that was not originally there.)

AND the BF/cousin would have to GIVE UP the games in order to get full "actual cash value"  ..... OR ...... he would have to settle for some amount smaller to keep them, and take a reduction in value for the games as they currently are...the difference between what they would be worth undamaged and the value of the now damaged games. Don't forget the burden of proof is on them.

I.e., game is bought at $50 six years ago. BF used the game for 4 years. SS borrowed the game 2 years ago. SS returned the game. Damage is allegedly found after the return on this 6 year old game. The game on the date of loan was 4 years old and the loaner EXPECTED the game to continue to age while being loaned to SS (shouldn't get compensated for the devalution based on age.)  

So go find a USED game of the same sort at a game store and take a picture of the game and price. After all, SS borrowed a USED game, not a new one. Keep the information on these items in your files and use if necessary. (Don't make any special trips for the information, just drop by when you are already in the mall.)

I doubt that the ex and BF/cousin will really go after this, but some people are so blinded by their fury that they get stoopid.
A true soldier fights, not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves whats behind him...dear parents, please remember not to continue to fight because you hate your ex, but because you love your children.


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Some people have too much time on their hands
« Reply #3 on: Dec 12, 2006, 04:44:49 AM »
Hope it all turned out okay at the probation hearing.

I think y'all are right to not put too much in what she is saying.  Just hang tight and hope that the probation officer will see what is going on.


dsm - 36; DH - 39; SD - 17; LO - 10; BB - 3
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RE: It's almost laughable....
« Reply #4 on: Dec 14, 2006, 08:05:35 PM »
BM didnt even show for the PO appt.  This after she requested it be at a certain time for her convenience.  So, I had told dh last night that I bet she is trying to time filing things against him until she feels it will be delivered near his birthday and Christmas (3 days apart).  

tonight she calls and her and ss have a war over the phone.  If ss says he doesnt want to visit her, she goes into how dh is a liar and a bad parent.  She says that she is the good parent, trying to teach ss wrong from right.  OMG...its incredible how dillusional she is.  

She tells ss that if he is not at her home tomorrow evening, she will file papers against dh on Monday.  She asks to speak to dh, but ss will not let her.

So, after he gets off the phone and tells dh this, dh calls her.  She never mentioned seeing SS!!!!  She was instantly on if dh was going to take care of paying for those games.  Dh told her - NO, I did not take him down there and i will not pay for it.  She insists that it doesnt matter that she took him to her cousin's home, dh is totally responsible.  Then she hangs up and will not answer her phone after that.

She loves to stir up trouble.  But, we can easily think of at least five things to file for.  WE are just tired of court.  We are very torn......on one hand, ss should visit his mother.  On the other hand, her constant lies and threats are very unhealthy for him.  We are not turning him against her....she has done that all too well over the past few years and it has escalated since dh got custody....

We are not going to let her destroy our holidays over this...thought I know that is what she has planned....


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