That's exactly it. I've said it before and I'll say it again- a part of me can't wait till he sees his mom for the mess that she is, but a part of me hopes that he never knows what a nut his mom is. She's one of those people who can do no wrong, and blames everyone else for her mistakes. And of course my
SS, like any child, wants to believe that his mom is perfect. Its just so frustrating when we actually put our kids first and she just pretends to. But it is a sad thing for a kid to realize that their parent is a mess.
As far as counseling, we were all going before the custody change (
DH, me, SS and
BM). The counselor he was seeing at the time wasn't really worth much though. And honestly, with all of us in the room, it was more drama than SS needed to witness. We normally talk to BM as little as possible b/c she takes everything personally, blows everything out of proportion when it comes to HER son (he's ours too), and is very defensive. It takes very lttle to make her fly off the handle, so we only talk to her to discuss her visitation time and when something realy big comes up. Anyways, the counselor he was seeing didn't really know the whole situation, and I'm sure she told him things were much different than they were before we started coming along, so I think it probably did more harm than good.
We are currently on a waiting list to see another counselor in the practice (who comes recommended, so I hope will be better than the last one). Unfortunately, the earliest appointment is in february. So now we are not sure whether to wait for someone we know is a good therapist, or take our chances on someone else.
So for now, I just bite my tongue when he's around, and once in a while vent on here. It helps to read the crazy stuff other people deal with and know that we aren't alone. Also, my family is a wonderful support system for me and I can always call them when I need to vent.