>we have "been there and done" with every situation mentioned
>above, so how long do we continue? We have been "dealing"
>with dh ex for a long time.
>
>we have paid bills, talked to dr's offices, dh has written
>letter's with
court order. dh ex just takes them to new dr's,
>schools (now home schooling), and church (doesn't want to get
>involved).
>
>We have c.o. stateing that ex must notify within 20 days of
>medical or we do not pay so there is a multiple c.o's
All of that is exactly why I would say I don't recognize the name on the bill and refuse to pay it. There's no way she can collect it. If she tries, you explain to the judge that she's in contempt of court - so by filing a case against you, she's the one who's going to be punished.
>
>ex must tell the skids to call their dad "dad" not "legal
>name" to me this woman still feel's she is above the law. She
>doesn't have to listen to the Judge.
In practice, I doubt if there's much you can do about this. Legally, you're on firm ground, but it's probably hard to enforce. It's possible that if you're already getting her for contempt on changing the kid(s)' name that you might be able to bring it up at the same time to reinforce the other contempt charge.
In principle, at some point the name changing and calling the sf 'dad' becomes so severe that it could lead to a change in custody, but you'd have to talk with a local attorney to see how likely that is in your district.