I appreciate all the responses, I truly do.
As for paying if he shoots something/someone....I had forgotten to mention that in addition to the tires and damaged truck dh has paid before due to
ss' antics....we also had to pay the $250 (half of the $500) when he vandalized the school laptop.
I have been trying to take an honest assessment of myself the last few days as my marriage is really strained due to all of this. Today I was asking myself - why did I help dh get custody of an already troubled child....was it to win against bm or because I love the child. Unfortunately, I think its some of both - though I really thought we could save ss....
I believe ss is dh's responsibility. But, I do have two daughters - one same grade as ss and a younger one. The one his age is so angry that ss doesnt get punished. She has major attitude, so she is not perfect by any means....but, she behaves in school and she makes really good grades. It's hard to explain that ss is not my child and I cannot discipline him when we all live in the same household and lets face it, it is unfair to have different rules.
SS has been kicked out of school for the rest of the year and is going to an alternative placement for only 2 hours an evening. I do not want him just sitting around the house all day eating and watching TV....
But, once again, there isnt much I can do about it. I know dh will not even consider marriage counseling - he is just waiting for this to blow over......
By the way, someone mentioned in their post about ss possibly shooting me with the BB gun.....ODD because I dreamt that he was pointing at my chest going to shoot me and it was only dh that saved me....and then I was going to call the police and dh promised he would get ss out of here if I didnt..and they
moved out. But, I was scared and decided not to live here anymore....