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A new year, same ole, same ole...help me understand this..

Started by speciallady, Jan 01, 2008, 10:47:16 AM

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speciallady

Let's see..I've been on this site for well over 9 years..1999 is was that I started looking for some help for DH and his kids. He, unfortunately, let their mother dictate and control their relationship not knowing he had rights too...but we are past that now.

So, I believe some were here when his ex followed me here. I'm sure Waylon remembers deleting her account because she was pretending to be me in chat..a slight variation on my old posting name. She even posted some weird things here complaining about my husband knowing the whole while I was a member here. That's when it was FRTC site--FATHERS rights to custody--and there she was...
There is quite an extensive list of things she has done in the past...mind you, unless the kids ask, that information is kept private. We don't operate the same way she does.

Kids are almost 20--twins, boy, and a girl. DH is most proud of them both for serving their country and having a direction for their lives as opposed to so many kids that don't...we say absolutely nothing to them regarding their mother. OH, I did find out that she is actually the person behind their myspace accounts--that's not surprising. Her pretending to be either of them on the net is not surprising either. Hey, if they let her have their passwords, that's their "thing".

BUT..while our court actions are over, all over with, kids are old enough to make their own decisions, etc.....she still follows me all over the net. She could be here now, I don't know for sure....I'm sure I woulda heard about it if she was though.
I have a myspace account and a yahoo360 account--both are private and the only thing that can be seen is my profile.
She is on there viewing at least 3 times a day.
yes, I know for sure...
3 times a day for each account.
I have closed off any and all net info for well over a year now...all things are private..

For example--Dh and I went out last night--yes, New Year's Eve, but New Years Day is my birthday--I came home, weee hours of the morning and she'd already been on my yahoo profile 2 times!

What is this obsession with me? I can sorta understand this like when SS was here. I know she's scared to death he'd find out about her postings about him--perhaps because her mind is so warped she thinks we operate like she does and fill his head with garbage, but she needn't worry, unless  he asks...

BUT seeking me out at all hours of the night?????

I don't get it.

Unless like I've always tucked back in the corner of my mind and she really is attracted to me? EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

babyfat

The end of that post made me laugh! Obviously this woman has some big time issues, no mentally stable person would turn into a cyber stalker. I have come to the conclusion after two years of dealing with my boyfriends psycho ex that the day I do understand her actions is the day I need mental help! To understand her would mean that I was thinking on the same sick level she does and I just don't want to sink that low. Oh and happy birthday!

mistoffolees

I'm just curious how you know all that. Does Yahoo360 or myspace keep a record that you can access of who has visited there? If it doesn't, how do you know it was her?

Generally, if she is only seeking public information, there's probably little you can do about it except laugh at her lack of a life. If she starts hacking into your accounts and stealing non-public information, then you can turn her over to the law enforcement agencies.

In principle, if she is aggressively pursuing public information in an aggressive enough fashion, you might be able to get a restraining order against her (the non-internet equivalent might be the person who parks their car on a public street near your home to watch you coming and going). However, my gut says that this would be pretty hard to get. I wouldn't be surprised if most judges would simply say 'she's accessing public information, not inconveniencing you in any way, and she does not constitute a threat' so no restraining order. In all likelihood, even attempting to get a restraining order might set her off and cause the opposite of what you want.

My inclination would be that if she's doing nothing more than accessing public sites, you just laugh about her lack of a life. If it bothers you that she's accessing your myspace account, close it.

MixedBag

Well, I for one wish you would come around more often and help the folks out like you used to do!!!!

Geez, it's been a long time here, huh???

I think she's still looking for answers as to why her life is so, well, the life that it is or actually isn't.

speciallady

Why thank you Mixed!
We're sorta on the back-end of everything legally--thank goodness. I used to keep up on everything--new laws, etc....but don't think I am up-to-date enough currently to give advice. It's been a learning experience, for sure~
I believe the most I can offer now is the real life testimony to kids loving their parents no matter what. I knew in DH's case, as soon as the kids turned 18, things would be different..
1) both left almost immediately after graduation
2)both established contact with their Dad with NO parental control on that end.
I watched them all interact over the years and just KNEW these kids would do this. They knew, they understood all these years...I watched it.

She may have been awarded more money this past October but Dad has the love AND respect of his kids. Now they can show it without repercussions.

Anywho--I just laugh at her silliness now and still going on. I really thought it would end once the kids became adults though. That's what perplexed me...sigh