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Author Topic: Advice to anyone who will listen!  (Read 1390 times)


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Advice to anyone who will listen!
« on: Oct 25, 2004, 11:02:09 AM »
There are a couple things I have learned that I would like to share with you all. Some of these things are common sense. But they bear repeating.

No one really thinks they are going to die tommorrow. Well some of us plan for it, But I am discovering there is a whole group of people who really have no definite plans in case a sudden death should happen.

1. Get life insurance. Yes, You!  If there was no life insurance I would not know what to do, and now I am meeting widows and widowers who were left with nothing. I am so glad it's not me but I am pretty darn close.

2. IF you have life insurance, make sure your spouse and not your ex spouse in the benificiary! I am running into sooo many women who are finding out that their dearly departed spouse forgot to change the benificiary and now the ex wives are laughing all the way to the bank, and there isn't anything they can do about it except hope the ex will give the money back.(HAHA)(I have read a couple cases about this, it is a very interesting topic. The results are almost always the same, they take the name that is on the policy, does not matter that "the spouse of John Dowahdiddy" comes next. It's really sad when the new spouses find out they can't get any of the money because of one little thing.)

3. Even if you have nothing, I think it is a good idea to have a will and an executor. To get my DH's medical records, I have to either be the executor, or, file this small estate affidavit paperwork. It's alot of red tape that I know I wish I didn't have to be bothered with, and especially so close to his passing.

4. I was extremely lucky when it came to funeral arrangements. My DH had already laid out what he wanted done in the event of his death, and told EVERYONE what he wanted to happen. Life doesn't always work out that way, If you have some specific wishes, get them written down somewhere. That way there can be no discussion.

5.  Life insurance can help with funeral expenses, but be advised that you cannot cash in a policy until you have the death certificate, and most life insurance companies won't take the temporary( or atleast this is what I am learning from other widows). It can take weeks, and especially if there is an autopsy . I know my life insurance company won't take a temp.   I am looking at pre-paid funeral options now, so that way if something should happen to me, no one will have to scramble to come up with money.

There are so many things I am learning the hard way.

Kitty C.

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RE: Advice to anyone who will listen!
« Reply #1 on: Oct 25, 2004, 01:10:11 PM »
Thanks, wt.  I learned a LOT of this when my dad passed away and I was helping my mom with this stuff.  So when she came into a small inheritance from her great aunt, she told us kids that we'd probably think she was crazy, but she did ALL of her funeral arrangements and now has it all pre-paid.  She just didn't want us kids to have to deal with figuring out how to pay for it all.  Dad had a life ins. policy, but apparently they had cancelled Mom's many years ago.  But now we don't even have to worry about it.  We told Mom that not only was it her money to do with what she wanted, but we were grateful that she had done this literally for US.

DH and I haven't talked much about this, except that we want to be buried side-by-side.  AND when he went to work for the RR, he took out an additional life ins. policy strictly for me.  He is court ordered to have $50,000 in ins. for SS, of which he is the beneficiary of, but I have control over until he turns 18.  Mine is split between DS and DH.

But we have family friends who have been local funeral directors for now the third generation.  What you've said has prompted me to consider getting one of those planning books for DH and I, and I know our friends have them.
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......


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Bump to the top!
« Reply #2 on: Oct 26, 2004, 09:41:01 AM »
I need to take care of this issue, myself.  It stinks to have to hold carwashes to bury your relatives....

I believe that my ex still holds a 200k life insurance policy on me.  


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