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Author Topic: a year after a TPR case - hurting  (Read 1486 times)

raysteele

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a year after a TPR case - hurting
« on: Dec 03, 2005, 06:46:15 AM »
EXCERPTS FROM A FORUM = Originally Posted by Raysteele

I left my home in Feb 2003. I signed a stay of divorce execution and gave the wife the house and custody of the kids while I looked for a place to live. The agreement specified visitation, family events and dropping a DVI . The DVI never went to court but continues to loom over me until this very day (December 3, 2005).
Tomorrow is my youngest daughter’s birthday and I cannot do anything for fear of reprisal and incarceration.
In April 2004 after a mean divorce I Terminated my parental rights regarding my  two daughters (16 & 17).
During the separation my x alienated my strained relationship with them and the situation was unbearable. Early in the separation she had a DVI placed over me and all communications with them stopped.
After 1 1/2 years of this (at the time of divorce) I lost hope. Now I am sad with grief. I was going to fight the DVI but wonder if it will make any difference.
She also maintains a no-contact order as well.
My old attorney want $1,400 to fight the DVI and said that the no contact order may still stand.
He suggests waiting until they are adults and grow up a bit.
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She still controls the situation and poisons them. I am hoping to talk with them, offer support now, tell them how much I love and miss them. I am now employed and on my feet again. Is there any hope to this hell. The name of my state is Florida
Her family is wealthy and they out gunned me at every turn.
In the end they (daughters) lost dad and dad lost everything.
Is there any hope to contact them again?
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Why were your parental rights terminated – I voluntarily did the TPR to stop the fight, The kids had sent “we don’t need you dad” letters and I was struggling financially.
I did TPR. Cynde (the X) had just received a large trust fund and her need for me and my support was nil. We were married for 19 years and she finally received money from her family.
With the DVI she stopped communicating and all during the separation (1 1/2 years) she refused to drop the DVI. It was in the mediation agreement and promised but stall tactics and more stopped it.
I tested it once trying to deliver Christmas presents to kids and spent the weekend in jail.

Got hate letters from the kids and lawyer suggested TPR.
He said that teenagers would resist visiting, they were enjoying being "rich" kids and the x family hate of outsiders was formidable.
Frankly I lost hope, lost job and agreed to her accusation that I was unfit.
Well things are different. New job, 30 lbs lighter, and out of a bad marriage.
I regret the decision and fear that I am screwed (own doing).
I have set up funds for the kids from the settlement and do not wish to harass but do fear they need the other side of the story.
If nothing else but to say I will be here if and when they seek their father,
Then there was the 200.00 @ hour councilor that put the kids in the room and had to be the mouthpiece throughout.
He did say that their ice was like a glacier and his sessions at best a effective as a single match. What they did say was words from a angry wife.
OK, I admit that I was a fool. Preoccupied in my career, parenting through wife and stayed in a father fog because of the emerging teen complex.
Funny, I though I would sort it all out with a big vacation or romantic couples retreat.
Bam the big fight and my mother in law jumps in.
Next day lawyers and threats.
What a rollercoaster ride from there. Moved out (asked to) rented garage apt (****ty) and paid bills everywhere.
Did not see the kids much though. The point, waited too long to address the problems and then two very hurt angry daughters.
Hey, a sad story who's isn’t. Mom wrote a fat settlement check, bought Cynde a new navigator and dad fades away.
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As stated before if in fact you did TPR and it can't be reversed then you are considered to be a legal stranger and any contact could be answered with a restraining order. It was not smart of you to violate the previous order and could be used against you. The fact that your children are teenagers might not even make it worth it. By your own description they would not welcome you.
Once they are 18 you are allowed to contact them but then if THEY wanted they could get the restraining order as they would be adults and that would be up to them. It seems you've made a ghastly mistake that you may not be able to reverse.
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Based on your reply it looks like it is a waiting game.
When they turn 18 I will contact them appropriately.
I think the x will have her hands full with two wild teenage spoiled daughters.
at present I must love them from a distance.
I stay in town just in case.
Thank you all for your input.
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Could my girlfriend contact them or is this also a breech of the order??????



 

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